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Apologetic Insomniac 8/7/21
((After Ava left for her meeting and some time before Tesara gets busy on 11.13))
A message was sent to Tesara's comlink after she and Astra went their separate ways. The message was as followed.
"Best friend ever!! I want to talk, can we please? I am in Ava's room."
It was a message from Nova on the spare comlink Ava left her.
(( @Tesara Anerin ))
Tesara Anerin — 08/08/2021
Tesara blinks at the comlink message. She frowns for a moment. Nova calling her best friend seemed a little odd, but Nova had just been through an intense trauma. There had to be a level of forgiveness for anything strange. She typed back a message. “Yes of course, I’m on my way.” She hit send and began heading to Ava’s room.
@Lady Ryne Roke
Lady Ryne Roke — 08/08/2021
Nova made sure the guards know that Tesara was coming and to let her in. She sleepily answered the door. "Hi Tesara. Sorry for what I am wearing, sleepy." She went back to the bed waving Tesara in.
"I was hoping to hear what happened since Ava didn't update me. I was also wanting to apologize for everything I have done." She sleepily smiled at her.
(( @Tesara Anerin ))
Tesara Anerin — 08/08/2021
Tesara closed the door behind her. “I don’t mind what you’re wearing.” She smiled. “ after what you just went through I wouldn’t be surprised if you slept for a week.” She sat on a nearby chair. “What was the last thing you were told? I can start there and go forward.”
@Lady Ryne Roke
Lady Ryne Roke — 08/08/2021
Nova played with the some of the ends of her hair, "Well to be honest. The last thing I remember being updated on was your talk with Alizee. If I was informed of stuff after that, I was being stuck in my mind." As she tapped the spider web tattoo on her forehead. "I was hoping we can exchange information. I haven't gotten to research the Angel completely since the Prince offsprings and then the hotel bombing, I hadn't gotten to a holonet nor felt it appropriate to do that research at the investigator's headquarters."
Tesara Anerin — 08/08/2021
Tesara whistled. “Yes, quite a bit has happened. You know that Durro, Sinya and Reine went to Rotterdam. Durro ended up going to the mountains instead of continuing on with them. After that, Master Durro was fairly unreachable. I'm not 100% clear on what happened to Sinya, Reine and Kaleb, except I do know at some point they split away from each other and Sinya went with Lysire to Lanus to get the Shadow fixed from the damage it had incurred. You got the burst message from Sinya I believe. I haven't heard from her since, though. I believe that Kaleb and Reine went to Baklid 2 and from there, I am not certain. Quinn Vos and Astra have been developing a blooming relationship, but both of them are like kittens, too shy and then too friendly and then too shy again. It's a bit amusing." She smiles a little. "They went to the library at the Jedi academy to look up some information and I fairly got lost and wanted to move in." She laughs a little. "I met some Jedi masters and we talked a bit. Astra invited Quinn to live here at the palace. He did move in, and we've met at the pool and hot tub a few times. Oh and I forgot, Vinh took Roza to meet Ryan when he was here. That was..." She shakes her head. "Well, it was Ryan being Ryan." She frowned, trying to recall when she might be leaving out. "Hmmm...let's see.... we met with Ava's exec team who told her that the 12th, which was a military of the crown and loyal to the Queen had demanded that the Prime Minister step down, and had asked SunCo for help. We debated, and decided to ask them what our deadline was for assistance, as we had some ideas on how to help but it would take time. Sadly the next day we heard that the entire platoon had been wiped out. Guess by who?" She made a face. "Unfortunately, that was at the same time that the apartment bombing happened, which you were kind enough to alert us about."
Tesara Anerin — 08/08/2021
((((There is more, but I see you typing so will wait)))
Lady Ryne Roke — 08/08/2021
Nova listened as she climbed under the blankets to keep warm. She went to make notes on a data pad like she usually did but realized she didn't have it anymore so stopped her motion as Tesara got to the bombing of the hotel. "I see. Then we went there and I went off on my own. Only to cause troubles, or for trouble to find me. Sorry for leaving you by yourself at the bombing site."
Tesara Anerin — 08/08/2021
Tesara shook her head. "You had a specific job you were seeking to do, and we were tasked with the healing and helping. It's fine. I was a bit surprised you headed to Rotterdam but figured you were in contact with Ava the whole time." She said. "Did you want me to get you a data pad? I think you must have lost yours..."
Lady Ryne Roke — 08/08/2021
"I was in contact with Ava the whole time until I had decided to get a train ride by myself without updating anyone." She then looked at where she usually had her data pad, "I did lose it to the ocean. It is fine, it held my diary and information that I can research up later. Ava said she was going to replace my missing items when she was done with her meetings and I slept finally." She then shook her head before softly smiling, "What happened while I was gone?"
Tesara Anerin — 08/08/2021
Tesara looked sad. "I'd be heartbroken if my journal was lost at the bottom of the ocean. It wasn't backed up anywhere? Not that I necessarily know what that means..." She trailed off. "Let me think if I can remember everything after you left."
(((insert pause for you to answer while she thinks)))
Lady Ryne Roke — 08/08/2021
"I held the only copy, so that no one could read it." She explained as Tesara tried to recall what happened.
Tesara Anerin — 08/08/2021
"Ahh. That's too bad." She shifted in the seat. "Astra and I were helping at the bomb site when we stopped to get some food. Outside the cafe we found an older woman trying to get past the guards because she was looking for her daughter. Looooooong story short, I knew her daughter from meeting her at the mall that day with Reine. Her name is Cricket and she was missing. I didn't want to send this woman back to those horrible camps so Ava agreed to take her on here at the palace. You may see her about (Tesara describes what she looks like). Then Astra and I went on a merry chase from the mall to the spaceport then to the Candy district to try and find this girl, only to find out at the end that she had been arrested by Stefan Grosz' men. That whole business is still up in the air, as today my plan is to go to the royal jail to see if I can speak to her and find out WHY. I need to give her poor mother an update. At least Cricket isn't dead." She sighs. "Oh!" She snaps her fingers. "Ava asked me to sit with her in a dinner with Senator Vil Noor. What a lesson in patience THAT was." She makes another face. "He's one of those core people who look down their noses at the Europans. He gave Ava a lot of information about the political landscape here in Austerity and on Baklid in general. I believe she is meeting with Neomi Ender today, and Senator Noor is the one who told Ava about her. I believe she may end up being a valid ally in Ava's plans. He did say that the Jedi are considering sending an army here to Baklid to settle this mess. But that was before the plane and train crash you were in." She frowns, desperately trying to remember if there is more.
(((There is, I am just trying to get it all))
"Ava invited three of the Jedi masters here to the palace to see the founders room. They were nice, and Astra and I did get some good information from them. I like one of them, his name is Master Wynium. He is well versed in seers and Astra is one, so I am hoping that she will be his Padawan when the time comes. I think it was that evening that we heard about the train and plane crash. It was all over the holonet. The plane had the Prime Minister on it as well as three Jedi masters. Quinn was on the plane as well, but he survived. You contacted Ava and I have never seen her so relieved in my life! I think it was also at the same time that Master Durro was found by Quinn's father up in the mountains. He contacted Ava who sent Ryan to retrieve them and it was on their way back that she contacted Ryan to go rescue you. Then we sat on pins and needles and tried desperately not to give in to panic unti you all returned safely."
"I think...I hope that is all. If I forgot something and think of it later, I will let you know, I promise."
@Lady Ryne Roke
Lady Ryne Roke — 08/08/2021
Nova listened as she softly giggled at how Tesara had to use patience in a talk with a senator. "It is okay. I got the general idea of what happened now. I am happy you agreed to tell me everything. I have had this feeling that no one has wanted to tell me anything or have me join meetings after the Ossus incident." She then looked down and shook her head. "I keep getting the feeling that all these events that are happening have been my fault, all because I accepted the bag job."
She played with the blanket before sighing, "I am sorry for all the trouble I have caused this whole year we have been together. Everytime I see something happen around us, I fear it was my fault for it happening but that could be the horrors in the dark whispering it to me."
Tesara Anerin — 08/08/2021
Tesara watches Nova for a moment. There is genuine sadness and regret there. She inhales slowly. "Nova, I cannot tell you if you're being whispered to by dark things or even what they are, but...the decisions you make send out ripples. Not just you....everyone sends out ripples with their words and actions. I am no different. I have made errors and bad judgment calls and said things I regret. That is human. What's important is what you intend to do from here. What's done is done, and is in the past. What you do NOW, if you reach out for help when you're confused or having these horrors in the dark...that is what will determine what those ripples do. You survived a near death event. That you are sitting here in front of me means that you are strong enough to survive. Ava loves you so very very much. She needs you. She needs a strong advocate at her side who will defend her and help her. And in turn, she will help you when you need it." She takes a deep breath. "Nova, I don't know why you built those bombs or why you said what you said on Ossus. But I can tell that you are being honest and genuine with me when you say you are sorry. Now you know where those traps are and how to recognize them. Having said that, no one expects perfection. You are a human being and you will make mistakes. You will likely see others around you making them as well. The good news is that you're not force sensitive. You will not be taken to Starlight. But you MIGHT face repercussions of those decisions. Maybe we can help negate some of them if they arise. I know Ava wouldn't want you to be taken away and I think she would fight tooth and nail to stop that from happening." She looks at Nova directly. "I will help defend you if that happens. But other than that, what can I do? Do you want me to remind people to include you when things are happening so you don't feel left out or left behind? What would make you happy? You deserve happiness."
@Lady Ryne Roke
Lady Ryne Roke — 08/08/2021
Nova listened as Tesara spoke with her, "...Right now I just want everyone safe. I may not know him personally nor like being around him, but I want Quinn to be okay. I hope Reine and Kaleb are okay. I want Sinya and Lysire to be alright but being on Lanus isn't where Lysire should be staying." She looked towards the door, "I have so many hopes but the most I hope for is people to accept my forgiveness and let me help again."
She then looked at Tesara, "If Cricket's mother is here, then she is now part of our family. I hope we can save her but I am not sure in what way we can save her. I just don't want to lose more family, I see Lysire as family. Though it is strained and horrible, I still care for her like a sister. However she won't accept my help because of what my insomnia likes to whisper to me."
Tesara Anerin — 08/08/2021
Tesara looks thoughtful. "Well at the moment, everyone is safe, although I do not know about Kaleb and Reine. Hopefully we will hear from them soon. It's possible that Ava has more information on them she has not shared with me. As for Lysire, it is imperative that we get her away from Lanus as soon as possible. I think Sinya left her, not realizing what is inside her. You and I have seen what she is capable of and is utterly unaware. I think she is in very real danger. Ava has SO many things spinning right now, I hate to add another to her plate. I was going to ask if after I visit the royal jail, if she wants to send me to Lanus to be with Lysire until Sinya returns. I'm not certain, she might already have a plan." She glances at the door. "Sanja is staying in the east wing. She's a nice lady, and I think her information about the camps will be helpful to Ava." She looks back at Nova. "As for forgiveness, the best way to do that is to show you're honest and ready to help from here. That MIGHT come in the form of telling the truth about the bombs. It's possible that your information will help them bring justice. I'd speak to Ava about it because again, she has an entire team of people working for her and there is likely a way to negate any backlash. I trust her. And as for the the last....are you willing to share with me what you hear in these whispers?"
@Lady Ryne Roke
Lady Ryne Roke — 08/08/2021
After hearing all that and hearing Tesara's question, Nova looked down at the blanket, "I don't think you would like what they are saying right now. It is a lot of screaming and pleads for help since the whispering is focusing on the train accident right now."
Tesara Anerin — 08/08/2021
"But I do. Because no one should have to deal with that alone." She leans forward a little. "You can tell me, I can handle it. You're hearing echos of the accident, aren't you?"
Lady Ryne Roke — 08/08/2021
"I may not be connected to the force like you all but my mind likes to act like it can hear the echos of the accident." She pulled a spare pillow onto her chest so she can hold onto it. "Normally the whisperings are dull and only whispered about my parents and how it was my fault they were dead. But then when I was tortured by Daz, they got very loud and aggressive." She rested her face in the pillow for a few seconds before shaking her head.
"Right now they are whispering about all that was in the car I was in. If only you had told them to stop panicking or to get their life vests on. It is saying right now."
Tesara Anerin — 08/08/2021
Tesara lets out a breath she had been holding. "Oh those are horribly mean things that is saying to you. It's as if there is some kind of wicked part of your mind trying to convince you that you're a terrible person. All of the 'you should have' and 'why didn't you' things. It's torturing you about the past when you can do nothing to CHANGE the past." She thinks for a moment. "How long has that voice been there, being so cold and cruel to you?"
Lady Ryne Roke — 08/08/2021
Nova hid in the pillow as Tesara spoke though when she asked how long, Nova tilted her head as she looked at her after lowering the pillow. "Um well a bit after my parents were shot down in front of me at age four. Maybe like age seven, I think. I remember being scared of sleeping and my mentor gave me my flute to help scare the whispers away and to inform him when I was having problems. Then at age eight, he found a place for me that would be more helpful in my whispers. That would be Ava's family but I was told to keep the whisperings to myself."
Tesara Anerin — 08/08/2021
Tesara is a bit astonished. "That long? You've been dealing with this for that long and have been hiding it?" She feels a wave of sorrow for this poor girl. "Ava knows though, right?"
Lady Ryne Roke — 08/08/2021
Nova looked at the pillow, "I am not fully sure. She knows that I play my flute when I am scared, lonely or upset. I rarely play it like when I showed off for Astra."
She gave a soft smile as she looked at the pillow still, "When I first joined her family, Ava knew something was wrong because of how scared I was. She made us a friendship bracelet. It has weathered time for all these years. Thankfully I remember putting the twine in my flute case in Astra's room and never put my flute back in the bag so those two are safe."
Tesara Anerin — 08/08/2021
A wave of understanding washes over her as she thinks about Astra telling her about Sol. "I'm so glad that isn't gone. Why haven't you told Ava about the whispers? Do you think she would judge you or be skeptical or even afraid?" She gently prods.
Lady Ryne Roke — 08/08/2021
Nova covered a yawn before shaking her head, "Because the whispers have been so dull over the many years I have been with her that I usually just ignore them and after Daz, she knew that I was being haunted by something. Even after my incident with Lysire, she knew."
She then looked at Tesara, "I don't want to be a burden for her nor a distraction. That is how we have always operated. Back when she finally got into the academy, I was her personal cook and stayed in the dorms. I knew that she didn't need distractions so when we started dating, I made sure to keep us a secret from everyone. Granted I knew it was more my whispers telling me that if we were public about us dating, I would of been pulled out of her family very fast because I got too attached."
Tesara Anerin — 08/08/2021
Tesara nods thoughtfully. "So Daz' intrusion into your mind stirred up this...thing that torments you." She looks angry for a moment. "I did find out that Daz was hunted down and sent to Starlight for rehabilitation. They considered what he did to you to be a dark act. Even so you are still dealing with the results of his actions. As for Ava, I feel that here is different from where we came from. Her family is not here, and there is no one to judge who she chooses to love or not. You should talk to her and see about establishing publically that you are her mate. You're both adults and she is now in a position of power where before she was merely a student and beholden to the whims of society and her family." She says. "If you are willing and able to stand by her publically as her mate, then you can be close by if she needs you or you need her. As for the voice, the first thing to do to help would be to continue to use the flute as it is already a trigger sound to help soothe and calm you and turn the volume down on it. What else did you do to try to ignore it if you could not use the flute?"
@Lady Ryne Roke
Lady Ryne Roke — 08/08/2021
Nova listens and softly nods to some of Tesara's words. "If I don't have the flute, I touch the friendship bracelet. Then it goes find Ava, find something that reminds me of Ava. And the last thing, which I had to do until Durro, Master Vos, and Ryan could save me, is to try to just hold out as long as I can until someone finds me."
Tesara Anerin — 08/08/2021
Tesara nodded. "So there are a series of failsafes you have established." She says, still looking thoughtful. "This might be a hard question, but have you ever done anything to succumb to that voice when none of your failsafes worked?" Her words were careful and her tone was gentle.
Lady Ryne Roke — 08/08/2021
Nova tilted her head slightly confused. Before hiding behind her pillow. "I guess when I threatened Lysire and that ship Sinya almost blew up with the Jedi hunter's family. I didn't look for my failsafes at the time, or that I was already so lost in the whispers that I didn't care any more. They get so loud around Jedi, though right now it is focusing on the train accident."
Tesara Anerin — 08/08/2021
"So then it just builds and builds until you're unable to sustain it and you say or do things you may not mean otherwise." She frowns, thinking. "The voice gets louder around Jedi? But right now, it's so focused on the train accident that say, my presence isn't doing it as much?"
Lady Ryne Roke — 08/08/2021
Nova came out of her hiding to nod before speaking, "Correct but I think the whispers have just given up on focusing on you because of how much I say something mean, mostly by accident, you stick around." She lowered the pillow back to her chest. "It didn't mind Durro only small murmurs behind the focus of the accident."
Tesara Anerin — 08/08/2021
Tesara actually chuckles a little. "They take me off guard, but I am very stubborn. I don't leave easily." She smiles. "I have to wonder though... it does seem a little odd that it reacts to Jedi. When you were on Lanus, did you feel it increase or decrease or was there no change?"
Lady Ryne Roke — 08/08/2021
Nova began to trace a design on the pillow. "I am sure you noticed unless you didn't. So on Lanus, I knew something was wrong. Everything was wrong, it was so quiet that it was unnerving. As I watched how Lysire reacted in the storms on our 30 day trip to the cave, I slept during the day and stayed up at night on Lanus. Though at the village, a small whisper interrupted the silence finally. It said that one of the dead was Ava, I couldn't save her."
Tesara Anerin — 08/08/2021
Tesara's eyes grew wide. "Nova...I think it's possible you ARE Force sensitive! Lanus affects anyone who is Force sensitive and I do apologize very much, I was too focused on Lysire and making sure she didn't die or release that thing that I missed a great deal." She looks guilty. "Do you think you could be Force sensitive?"
Lady Ryne Roke — 08/08/2021
Nova tilted her head and shook her head. "I don't think so. Tesara, I haven't shown any of those powers nor any visions. Even if you looked, I doubt you will sense any. Granted Durro always says we are all conected to the force but I am not connected like you both are."
Tesara Anerin — 08/08/2021
Tesara continued to look uncertain. "Sadly I don't know how one tells or not. It's not something Master Durro ever taught me. But I DO have access to the library at the academy and can do some research. I have to wonder if you have some kind of dark side attachment that is causing these voices. If so, it might be possible to remove it. I can research it and let you know."
Lady Ryne Roke — 08/08/2021
Nova listens before shaking her head, "Tesara, I think it is just trauma. I highly doubt it is a dark attachment or anything. From what my mentor said 'Most of us have unhealthy thoughts and emotions that have either developed as a result of trauma or hardships in their childhood, or the way they were raised'. I think it is that."
((OOC: not dark point related at all, just trauma of seeing a lot of death))
Tesara Anerin — 08/08/2021
Tesara looks a little disappointed. "I was hoping it was something we could permanently help remove." She sighs. "But it is a lifetime of trauma, which means you need to be able to talk to someone about it. If you can meet with someone on a regular basis to process what has happened to you, there may be better ways of dealing with the voice than just the flute and bracelet. I can find out if there are counselors you can see in private if you'd like?"
Lady Ryne Roke — 08/08/2021
Nova shook her head before thinking, "I think I will just not involve more people to this trauma. Though maybe it be good to learn about how one removes a dark side attachment. Who knows if you will need that information in the future." She sweetly smiled but covered a yawn. "Sorry for worrying you and making you hope for a permanent solution to my whispers. I should see if I can sleep before Ava catches me awake." Soft giggle.
Tesara Anerin — 08/08/2021
Tesara stands. "I think it would help to involve more people, because the more you talk about it, the less power it will hold. But yes, it is late and you do need to rest after what you've been through. And I don't want Ava chasing me down, threatening to beat me for keeping you awake." She smiles. "Sleep well." She says, then heads for the door.
Lady Ryne Roke — 08/08/2021
"It is morning, Tesara. But okay, I will think about it later. Thank you so much." She gave a sweet smile. "I will be making lunch so I hope you will enjoy it."
Tesara Anerin — 08/08/2021
Tesara nods. "I'm sure I will." She smiles and closes the door.
Lady Ryne Roke — 08/08/2021
/end
Tesara Anerin — 08/08/2021
(((that went well! ? )))
Lady Ryne Roke — 08/08/2021
(((Hahaha make tesara think nova is force sensitive.. Nah just so much trauma)))
Tesara Anerin — 08/08/2021
(((yeppers. poor Nova ? )))
Lady Ryne Roke — 08/08/2021
(((Trauma enforced insomnia... Wishing to fix it so she can finally sleep like a decent person rather than 4 hours))
Tesara Anerin — 08/08/2021
(((Yes but that's not going to happen unless she does intense therapy)))
Lady Ryne Roke — 08/08/2021
((And she trusts no one but the party so good luck <3))
Tesara Anerin — 08/08/2021
((So that might mean asking someone in the party? ? )))
Lady Ryne Roke — 08/08/2021
((All the girls if reine gets her act together and can mesh with everyone))
((Leaving this area, will continue in dms or something))
Tesara Anerin — 08/08/2021
/end for real this time LOL
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