Guarding the ship 1/7/22

[Anatketani]

Durro Thel-Tanis — 01/07/2022
After the others left Professor Kenobi's ship to explore, Durro headed to the mess to make himself a pot of tea. It pained him to stay behind while the others got to explore, but the Professor had a point: Durro is the most experienced 'fighter' among them; should the ship need defending. Knowing he is in for a boring few hours; Durro relishes the comfort of the hot leaf juice. Perhaps he will train some with the remote if he gets too bored.
Durro busies himself with prep while the water comes to a boil...
@Hadaza
Hadaza — 01/07/2022
Hadaza tried to be understanding when Tesara told her why they were leaving her behind. But it still burned. She went to the cargo bay to burn off some of her resentment and frustration.

Hot, sweaty, and only marginally less miserable, she headed toward the mess for something cold to drink. As she approaches, she hears noises coming from what she expected to be an empty room.

With all the stealth, cunning, and tactics that Tesara and the Professor taught her, she approaches the intruder intending to apprehend him.
@Durro Thel-Tanis
Durro Thel-Tanis — 01/07/2022
The hairs on the back of Durro's neck stand on end, as if keeping watch behind him. The Force ripples around him, through him, whispering a warning. A warning of what? He senses no danger.
"Handyman? Is that you?" He calls out, turning and expecting to see the Professor's droid. "Oh, hello Hadaza. I thought you'd gone with the others."
He gestures to the pot on the stove, just starting to whistle.
"Would you care for some tea?"
@Hadaza
Hadaza — 01/07/2022
Hadaza comes up short and opens her loose fists. "Master Thel-Tanis! What are you doing here? I thought you went with everyone else!"

Feeling a bit chagrined that she tried to sneak up on the man, she takes a moment to collect herself. "Um, just some juice please." She wipes her hands over her face, trying to clear the sweat from her brow, but only succeeding in smudging dirt on her cheeks.

'Why did they leave you behind?"
@Durro Thel-Tanis
Durro Thel-Tanis — 01/07/2022
"I volunteered." Durro says, retrieving another cup and moving towards the refrigeration unit. "The Professor is unsure of what's out there and wants the ship protected. I'm the better fighter and frankly he's the better anthropologist. So we are all doing what we're best at."
He smiles and adds;
"Though I'd much rather be meeting new people and seeing new sights. If all's well, perhaps when the others return."
He pours her juice and his tea and sets the cups down opposite each other at the table.
@Hadaza
Hadaza — 01/07/2022
Hadaza takes the cup from Durro and drinks deeply. Juice dribbles down her chin before she comes up for air.

Wiping her face with her sleeve, she replies, "Sure as not I'll not be invited to join them if they do. They are afraid that my," she sweeps her hand over her cheek, forehead, and hair, "well, that I might cause discomfort to the locals."

She leans back in her chair, fingers laced together behind her head. "It seems folk who look like me are distrusted on sight." The barb is subtle, but piercing.

She pushes back further, picks up her cup, and goes for more juice. As she walks away, she says loudly, "Master Anerin told me that you were her teacher for a time. I suppose I have you to thank for more than just your information about the Force." More softly, she adds, "I haven't forgotten your initial instruction. I'm grateful for it."
@Durro Thel-Tanis
Durro Thel-Tanis — 01/07/2022
"Not everyone distrusts you on sight." Durro says simply, sipping his tea. "Though I understand your frustration."
He watches her go to get more drink, observing her movements and mannerisms. How much has she remembered? How much has been irreversibly lost?
"I take no credit for Tesara's teachings. She's a remarkable young woman, despite my teachings. Her family taught her much, I simply offered an... alternative view of the Force."
He sips his tea again and adds;
"She's very wise for one so young. Far wiser than I at her age, and I fear wiser than I can ever hope to be."
He looks up to Hadaza as he finishes speaking;
"You've forgotten your past, which I'm sure is terrifying in its own way. Though it's not without benefit. I fight daily with the man I once was; the foolish child who dreamed of being a great warrior, who grew into an idealistic young man who wearied of war and simply wanted peace. Who is now an older man who still desires peace, but recognizes he can't escape his warrior spirit. Especially when the fight seeks him out."
He smiles wryly.
"No, it's Tesara's destiny to be the wise one; the teacher. Mine, I fear, is to be the Protector."
"Enough about me though; has Tesara's training been helpful to you? What have you learned?"
@Hadaza
Hadaza — 01/07/2022
Hadaza weighs Durro's words carefully. She didn't expected this level of vulnerability from him, despite his candor towards her in their past meetings.

She softens a bit more as she replies, "Tesara is an incredible woman. Do not sell yourself short for whatever hand you had in it. As for my memory," she sighs, "there's nothing and no one can tell me if it will return."

She drinks deeply and rejoins Durro at the table. "I hear you about it being a double-edged sword. I have panic attacks that have no basis in the moments they occur. I have nightmares ...". She trails off, lost in thought, her eyes searching for something far away.

She shakes her head violently, bringing herself back to the mess and the man beside her.

Matching his vulnerability in kind, she continues, 'I don't know whether to wish for my memories to return or to never know who that person was. I suppose the truth lies somewhere in between."

Looking him directly in the eye, she finally answers his question. "Tesara taught me many things, including how to calm myself when thr panic attacks come, though I can't say that I am always a good student." She chuckles wryly at her own short comings.

"She's taught me a little more than that. The Professor has taken me under his wing as well." She laughs out loud now, the expression lightening her whole countenance. "It seems I am something of a community project."
@Durro Thel-Tanis
Durro Thel-Tanis — 01/08/2022
"It takes a village to raise a child." Durro replies. "Tesara was also a 'community project.' I wasn't here only teacher; she learned from her parents, her grandparents, her village Yilsaana, her friends, and her friends' parents. Even I, as a Jedi, could be seen as a 'community project.' Though I had one master, that relationship began at 13. Before that, I attended classes taught by a variety of masters, learning from them as well as from my fellow initiates. Being a community project is a good thing; it means you have a community of people who have only your well-being at heart."
@Hadaza
Hadaza — 01/08/2022
A touch of bitterness creeps back in as Hadazs says, "I don't know about that last part. Sometimes I think it's less about my well-being and more about making sure that I'm not actually some deep-cover bounty hunter, assassin, or some other unknown threat."

Her tone lightens as she rolls her now empty cup around in her fingers. "Still, as communities go, I have to count my blessings. You all could have left me to die several times over. But you didn't, and for that I'm grateful. Though I'm not sure that there aren't at least some among you who wouldn't be sad if I accidently found myself experiencing hyperspace travel on outside of the hull ... just in case."

Again, the comment is designed to gage Durro's reaction. She hasn't forgotten his initial comments at her arrival, ones that resulted in her trying to take her life. Neither can she shake Astra's unease during their few brief interactions. That Astra is Durro's student, that they are both Jedi, and the feelings of both Tesara and Professor Kenobi about Jedis in general, though not Durro or Astra specifically, have left her wondering in some deep part of her if it isn't the Jedi she has to leery of more than the Swarm.

"Being left behind by them, and with a guardian no less," she says with a flourish of her hand at @Durro Thel-Tanis , "seems only to bolster my theory."

As she says this, a wary look creeps into her eyes, as though a part of her that she won't fully acknowledge hopes that she is wrong and that he is here to protect her, not to be her gaoler.
Durro Thel-Tanis — 01/08/2022
Durro gives an amused smile and finishes his tea.
"I can guarantee you, Tesara doesn't think that way. She's young and naive, always seeing the good in people and only the good. She thinks with her heart and not her head, even when evidence is staring her in the face. Which isn't always a bad thing; you and I, we're the opposite. We think tactically, analytically, not always considering the impact our words have. Like my questions for you at our first meeting; I'm sorry I put that thought in your head. I really was thinking aloud. Tesara balanced me out in many ways throughout her training."
"I can't speak for the others, but I certainly don't want anything to happen to you. I can't say my trust is one hundred percent; but I don't see you as a threat. I see you, with no memory of your past and with no indication you're lying about that and I see someone who can become anything she wants. Starting from scratch and becoming the person she wants to be. It's not an opportunity most of us have, though it's an opportunity a few of us would take, if offered."
"You've chosen a great teacher in Tesara; she can hone your selflessness and compassion. She can instill in you and nurture in you that quiet grace that those who serve others selflessly carry themselves with."
"I know you're apprehensive around 'the Jedi'; myself and Astra. I know what Kenobi thinks of us, and Tesara to a certain extent. They make no secret of their disagreements with the way the Jedi do things. I make no excuse; the Jedi as an order have lost their way. They've forsaken their core values and placed importance on other things. There's a reason Astra and I aren't with them though; we don't agree with their current path. We know what the Jedi are supposed to be and we seek to become that ourselves. If you want to know what a Jedi should be, what Astra and I aim to be, look no further than Tesara. She is selfless, empathetic, and cares more about the wellfare of others more than herself. Above all else, she desires to serve the Will of the Force and to maintain balance. She may not call herself a Jedi or think of herself as one, but she embodies what it is to be a Jedi more than anyone else I've met. As I said, you picked a great teacher."
He rises to get more tea and adds over his shoulder;
"I know it sounds odd, praising her to the degree I do but I'm very proud of the woman she grew to be. I hope someday to be half the Jedi she's proven to be."
Durro returns with his cup, but does not sit back down. He stands and looks Hadaza over while sipping. Then he asks;
"So what is it you want out of life? Who do you hope to become?"
@Hadaza
Hadaza — 01/08/2022
Once again, this man has left her elephantine  with his unequivocal biddability. She blushes; her first uncalculated reaction to his words.

"Durro, if you've never told Tesara how you feel about her, you should. I am the first to know that praise is never wasted and there are times when it is to late to share it."

She takes a moment to collect herself and think on what he has said. Starting from scratch to become anyone she wants to be. Yet she has put the molding of that self in to the hands of just 2 people. And she's deep down sure that they are not even worthy of that trust or if they were just convenient.

Trust is a hard thing for her. She can't even trust herself. Durro isn't wrong when he said that her situation is one that few would take if offered. Her shoulders slump as she finally takes off her armor before this surprisingly gentle man.
Hadaza — 01/08/2022
"You ask what I want out of life, Master Thel-Tanis? I want to not be afraid. I want to smile and laugh. I want to experience all that life has to offer, full-throated, full-throttle, fully engaged. I want to know that I am safe and am wiling to do what it takes to have that. I suppose that's why the Force brought me ...", she looks up into his eyes finally and spreads her hands wide, "here, which may be the answer to one of the first questions you posed to me when previously we spoke."

Her hands fall to her side in resignation of her situation. "I want more than I appear. I want more than appears to me. I know that I can be, but not how to get there. I can feel it both in my skin and dancing on it. Its like I know there's electricity, but I 'm sitting in a dark room without a way to find the light!" Her hands strike the table before her. Then her shoulders slump again, spent from the effort of birthing truth. She feels the same looseness that came after her outburst in Tesara's arms. What was it with these Jedi, able to move her emotions despite whatever buckler she tries to keep them safe behind?

A tear slips from her lash. "I lost everything. Now I find myself in a place where I could, potentially, lose it all again. How can you ask who I hope to become when all I can do is hope, right now, to survive?"
@Durro Thel-Tanis
Durro Thel-Tanis — 01/08/2022
"Survival is a great start." Durro agrees. "It sounds like you and I want much the same thing. I was raised in an order that believed attachment, and the emotions brought on by attachment, led to the Dark Side. In theory, we were supposed to control our emotions. In practice, we suppressed them. I've wanted nothing more than to learn to live, while still living out my beliefs in what the Jedi should be. What's the point of maintaining balance, of protecting the universe, if you're not allowed to enjoy the fruits of your protection?"
"The Swarm threatens life as we know it. I know it sounds hyperbolic, but it's true. They must be dealt with, but on the way perhaps we can experience all that life has to offer. To truly live, and know what it is to be alive."
He smiles and finishes his tea. "Such a simple goal, but a worthy one. I can't promise safety, not at this time, but I can promise a life lived to the fullest. I look forward to seeing where the journey takes us."
@Hadaza
Hadaza — 01/08/2022
She swipes the tear from her cheek with the palm of her hand, making the smudges of grime even worse, and hastily prevents any others from falling. She's done enough crying in front of Force users for one lifetime.

Swallowing her cynicism in the face of his rectitude, she takes the leap to earn his trust by trusting him. "Durro, Professor Kenobi believes that I might be able to track the Swarm. I can ... feel them, feel their hunger, even from a distance. He believes that I would be able to use that against them, even if for nothing other than an early warning device. I don't believe that either he or Tesara would be able to help me control this feeling so that I'm not overwhelmed by it. Is that something that you could help with, a way to help me, help us all, on this journey to survive ... so that we all have time to become who we hope to be?"
@Durro Thel-Tanis
Durro Thel-Tanis — 01/08/2022
"It's a little outside my comfort zone." He says wryly. "Though I've some ideas that immediately come to mind. Has Tesara taught you to meditate?"
@Hadaza
Hadaza — 01/08/2022
"She has, though as I mentioned before I can't attest to being a good student. I find the process necessary, but tedious."

She stops and murmurs something under her breath, something left over from a dream, "De som lider av følelser vil aldri nyte fred."

Louder, "I find that my own temperament is not suited to sitting and contemplating my navel right now. My emotions run too high and my body wants to run with them"
@Durro Thel-Tanis
Durro Thel-Tanis — 01/08/2022
Durro smiles slyly.
"You want to run? I see no reason why the ship can't be locked up tight; leave Handyman on the bridge to watch the security system. We'll just have to make sure we're back before the others."
He laughs a little and says;
"It'll be our little secret."
@Hadaza
Hadaza — 01/08/2022
Hadaza breaks into the first echt smile he's ever seen on her and joins him in laughter. "Let's go"
( @Durro Thel-Tanis end?)
Durro Thel-Tanis — 01/08/2022
(((It can be, though I did have something in mind. Not sure if "running" is a mechanic in the game rules, though.)))

"Handyman! We're stepping out for some air!" Durro calls. "Lock the ship tight; let nobody in unless you know them!"
Without waiting for a response, Durro lowers the ship's ramp and steps outside.
Looking around the landscape, he picks out a distinctive landmark about two kilometers away, by his estimation.
"Do you see that there? I challenge you to a race. Last one there makes the other one dinner; which means I'll need to bush up on my cooking skills."
"Before we set out though; think about this. Meditation can be done many ways. Most like to sit in silence and 'contemplate their navel' as you said. Others dance, or sing... or run. Whatever makes you feel calm, at peace, one with nature and the universe around you is meditative. So run, and let your spirit flow on the currents of the Force. Use it to enhance your muscles, and sharpen your reflexes. Like this..."
He takes off running with surprising speed; laughing at his head start, no doubt short-lived.
@Hadaza
Hadaza — 01/08/2022
((OOC - Digging this. I don't see "run", but Con maybe? )))

Stunned by his immediate departure, she takes off after him at full throttle, intent on beating him to his chosen destination
@Durro Thel-Tanis
Hadaza — 01/08/2022
Panting and glowing with exertion, she laughs heartily. "You aren't wrong about physical activity clearing the mind. Seems that you will be making dinner when we get back. Shall we walk back and see what we can forage?"
@Durro Thel-Tanis
Durro Thel-Tanis — 01/08/2022
Durro doubles over, panting.
"I suspected... as much." He breaths deeply for a few moments and adds "It's been a while since I've run like that; I'm woefully out of shape."
He glances back towards the ship.
"This is probably foolish of me, but double or nothing? There's food on the ship, and I'm not familiar with this ecosystem. Foraging might night be a great idea. So we race back and I make more of a fool of myself."
He grins at her, waiting for her reply.
@Hadaza
Tesara Anerin — 01/09/2022
/end scene as live play on Saturday 1/8/2022 created scenes that occurred after this scene ended.