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Fractures 6/6/22
Durro Thel-Tanis — 06/06/2022
After laying Haj down gently in her bed, Durro places a hand gently on her forehead and takes a moment to channel the Force through himself and into the woman he loves, attempting to wake her from stunned. At the same time, he feels the aches and pains as fractures in the Force, like stones that alter a river's flow. There is a touch of sadness there, and a lingering question of what's happened to you? He sits back and remains in a light meditative state, waiting for her to awaken.
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@Haj
Haj — 06/06/2022
Haj rolls her head to one side slightly as she awakens. Her eyes flutter, then open. She reaches out a hand to touch him. "Kjære," she says with a soft smile.
She rolls slowly into a sitting position. "What happened? The last thing I remember is ..." She wrinkles her brow briefly, trying to connect the spots and dots in her mind, before her eyes widen in horror and worry. "Tesara. Is she alright?"
@Durro Thel-Tanis
Durro Thel-Tanis — 06/06/2022
Durro opens his eyes and smiles.
"She's fine. It seems every version of Astra has problems following simple instructions."
"What's happened? I knew on the bridge that something had, but you left before I had the chance to ask. What did you get up to while I was away?"
@Haj
Haj — 06/06/2022
"I'm so sorry. I need to tell her that I'm so very sorry. She ... I knew she was there. I heard her voice. I talked to her for Frigg's sake!. But when she touched me ..." Her cheeks pale, making the contusions flare darkly against her skin.
To cover her reactions, she brushes her hair away from her face. A frown crossing her features as she quickly changes the subject. "Following simple instructions? Do you mean ones that you gave her or the ones that will send her to attack our Astra? I found her hiding in the kitchen; that bot of hers came after me."
@Durro Thel-Tanis
Durro Thel-Tanis — 06/06/2022
"Tesara touched you? I'm sorry, I got a few details but I'm still not sure what happened."
He rises to get something to drink, taking down two cups.
"I wasn't talking about the mess hall, though. What happened while I was away? The group didn't seem to want to tell me on the bridge."
@Haj
Haj — 06/06/2022
"It's not important," she says, looking away and curling up around herself. He has seen this position before, after Quinn's attack on her. "Handyman says that my injuries will heal naturally, but he gave me some ... medicine ..." she hedges, "just in case," she finishes, her voice small.
He can feel the shame coming off her in waves, almost palpable in the small room.
@Durro Thel-Tanis
Durro Thel-Tanis — 06/06/2022
There is a quiet anger floating in the room, contained quite masterfully by a lifetime of training in control over the self.
"I have a guess." He says softly, frighteningly calm. "You don't have to tell me and certainly not in detail. Your injuries speak for themselves."
He turns back and approaches the bed, offering her a cup.
"You've nothing to be ashamed of. What happened was outside your control. We really don't have to talk about it now, but you should talk about it, eventually. To someone you trust."
He sits down beside her and sighs wearily.
"What I want to know is, what happened here while I was gone? It sounds like I was presumed dead or captured, and yet you all remained here. There's been an invitation to dinner with the Sith and yet I am still confused as to who wants what. And why was Tesara so unwilling to tell me what led to the situation I found myself in?"
@Haj
Haj — 06/06/2022
Haj puts her head to her knees, her shoulders shaking slightly. She wants to hide herself from him, hide what that bitch did to her. She is at war with herself as she also wants so much to reach out, to have him take that moment from her & make her his once more. But she can't move. The contradiction, the conflict raging inside her. She starts to shake, even as she turns her head to him once more to tell him what he wants to know.
Wiping her face, she says, "When Tesara and I returned to the Gungnir, Astra told us that you hadn't returned from your errand. They tried to reach out to you, both with a commlink & with the Force. When they couldn't find you, couldn't feel you, the debate started."
Her eyes get a far away look in them as she remembers. "Ashanti tried to convince us you were dead; that we should leave. The conversation got heated. Tesara finally decided that we should go. Astra went to go get Che'ri to pilot the Gungnir out of the port, though to where I don't think any of them knew."
Her cheeks flame. "Ashanti said something like 'it's what master would do' or 'would want us to do'. I'm sure the Helvete thought that she was trying to be supportive. But it sounded so smug, so self-righteous. I'm sorry. I let my emotions get the better of my good sense. I couldn't stop them."
"I remember an echo resonating in my chest, 'I know he is alive and will find us. He will come back to us'. But I apparently said something to the contrary, something about what you would want us to do - to leave you behind - was antithetical to how we've seen you act. It was enough to sway Tesara to have Che'ri & I power down the Gungnir& to send her and Astra into meditation for Farseeing to try and discover your whereabouts."
"There was more debate between them before Tesara and Astra went to their rooms. After I left the medical bay, Astra told me what she saw in her vision, about how the clone attacked her."
Haj — 06/06/2022
Haj hasn't moved during her whole recitation. "Durro, she started talking crazy, that she was going to turn herself over to Vos and the Queen in order to save the girls because she had no hope of any other option. She told me that Ashanti told her that I was the only one who would not be tricked by the clone, manipulated by her, and that I had to watch her back, literally, even though I knew I couldn't beat her."
She looks at him, eyes wide. "I was walking by the kitchen when I heard a noise. The droid came after me. The clone came up from her hiding place. The rest was pandemonium. Blasts came from everywhere, mine and hers. She struck me at least once," she says moving her hand up to her arm, indicating the fresh wound.
"I remember Tesara's voice. She touched me. And when she did, I turned. I lashed out at her. I had to get her away!" Her voice starts to get a bit hysterical, but she takes a breath to calm down. "Then I woke up here with you."
@Durro Thel-Tanis
Durro Thel-Tanis — 06/06/2022
Durro closes his eyes and just breathes for a few moments.
"While sitting here waiting with you, I realized how... fractured this crew has become. I think I've become too distant, too wrapped up in the day-to-day running of the ship to see the cracks. I sensed it though, which is why I've pushed for a more militaristic discipline model."
He wraps an arm around her shoulder and pulls her close to him, gently leaning his head on hers.
"We've become so focused on our problems we've forgotten why we're out here. We've become so inwardly focused that we no longer care about each other; not like we used to. A military-type structure isn't going to fix it, nor is bottling everything up inside."
There is a tension that can be felt slowly releasing, though the progress is slow.
"The truth is, I don't know what will 'fix it' or if it even can be fixed. And honestly, I'm not sure I'm up to the task regardless. New information makes it sound like the Sith are acting as a Force of nature, much as I was led to believe the Swarm were a natural force. The cleansing fire the forest needs, the darkness of night to balance the day; the death that prevents life from overwhelming all. If that's the case, then why am I fighting this?"
He sighs heavily.
"I'm tired of fighting, and now the fighting is amongst ourselves. I miss the simplicity of Clone Wars; of knowing who the enemy are and blasting them back to the hell from which they sprang. Is a victory now and then too much to ask for? Why is it always one small ship against the forces of nature, against the universe itself?"
"I just want us to be happy." He says quietly.
@Haj
Haj — 06/06/2022
Her inner war ceases as his touch, his confession. "I want that too," she breathes as she reaches out to caress his cheek. "We fight amongst ourselves because we are afraid, we are exhausted, and we have lost hope."
She runs her fingers gently through the hair at his temple. "Your Padawan ... she still has hope. She knew, as I did, that you were alive and that you would return us. She told me so."
She brushes her lips against his cheek. "It was the grown-ups who failed today, Kjære," she continues, her voice sweet, low, coaxing. "Che'ri never hesitated to take the pilot seat, to do what needed to be done, while still believing in her child's heart that you would rise from the darkness in which you were hidden, just as you did once before."
He can feel the tears on her cheeks as she places her temple against his. "I would give you hope if I could, Durro. All I have is love." She kisses him, moving from his temple to his mouth.
@Durro Thel-Tanis
Durro Thel-Tanis — 06/06/2022
He returns the kiss, caressing her shoulders gently.
"Your love is enough. It's what keeps me going, what encourages me to make the galaxy a safer, more peaceful place."
"The Sith have extended an invitation. I intend to accept, but despite what I felt was right mere hours ago, neither Astra should accompany me. I must face this alone."
"Right now, though... I don't want to be alone."
As he runs his hand down her side he stops at her waist.
"Which reminds me; you've made a lot of progress in the hours I've been gone. Constructing your own lightsaber is one of the final tests a young Jedi faces."
He grins mischievously, wrapping his hand around it as if to remove it from her belt.
"May I see it?"
@Haj
Haj — 06/06/2022
She runs her hands down his arms, cupping his hands at her waist. "Please," she indicates, nuzzling the word into his neck, lengthening her body to allow him easy access to the weapon. "Though I did not construct it. Ashanti took it from a Sith officer as restitution. When we returned on board, she gave it to me."
@Durro Thel-Tanis
Durro Thel-Tanis — 06/06/2022
Durro frowns playfully.
"It was a joke." he grins. "You were supposed to play along."
He stands and activates the saber with a snap-hiss. It hums as he moves the blade back and forth, the red glow bathing the dimly-lit room.
"What do you intend to do with it?" He asks, as the blade and red glow vanish back into the hilt. He places it on a nearby table and returns to her side.
@Haj
Haj — 06/06/2022
She watches him as he wields the weapon, enamoured, pushing thoughts of all but this man before her far from her mind. His easy grace and playful banter buoys her from a moment of fleeting darkness as the memory of what transpired during the day shoots through her. Though their words may be lightly delivered, the topic was anything but.
Her fingers return to his hair. "In truth, I thought to use it in place of the stun batons during our sparring matches. I've watched you and Astra. Its incredible," she says wistfully. "I thought you could teach me," she says, taking his hand. "Show me." She draws him closer.
@Durro Thel-Tanis
Durro Thel-Tanis — 06/07/2022
"It would be my pleasure." He says softly. He leans in for a kiss. "First, I want to savor this moment."
@Haj
Haj — 06/07/2022
She dissolves into him, tangled up in his scent, taste, touch until nothing else matters. Even the small sting of his hands on her injured body is a reclamation and testament of love.
Later, when they are spent, curled sleepily around one another, her fingers swirling lazily on his chest. From in between that place of waking and dreams, she murmurs something unintelligible.
@Durro Thel-Tanis
Durro Thel-Tanis — 06/07/2022
He replies softly, equally unintelligible. The Force swirls peacefully around them, a tranquil harbor from the chaos outside.
@Haj
/end
Haj — 06/07/2022
/end
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