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Hadaza Tesara Meeting 1/16/22
Tesara Anerin — 01/16/2022
Tesara is the the kitchen, her mind whirling. She is considering all of the possible outcomes of this upcoming mission Hadaza agreed to do with Ashanti. She has no doubt that Hadaza can take care of herself, but she has no weapon other than a knife, and Ashanti is extremely unpredictable. She finishes cleaning and goes to her room to get her blaster. She would rather Hadaza have this than a kitchen knife
@Hadaza
Hadaza — 01/16/2022
Haj plucks a piece of bacon from the bowl before she picks it up and takes it to the kitchen. She licks her lips, the salty snack mixing with the lingering chocolate from the cupcake leaving a complex taste that she enjoys.
As she sets the bowl down, she thinks about this morning's turn of events - about Astra and Ashanti, about Professor's revelation and his ultimate desires, and how upset everyone was when breakfast was over.
Her hand slips absently to her waist, finding the knife there. The cold metal brings her back to the galley.
She owed Tesara more than the scant apology she gave her. Moreover, she wants to check on Tesara. The woman seemed more upset than anyone about Astra's disappearance.
She saw Tesara leave the mess so she heads down the hall to find her and apologize properly
@Tesara Anerin
Tesara Anerin — 01/16/2022
Tesara is exiting her room holding the blaster when she sees Hadaza approaching. "Excellent timing." She says, walking towards her. "I would like you to take this in place of a kitchen knife." She says, holding out her blaster. "It is small, but packs a good punch. Take it. It's all I have that would work best. I need to find out if the Gungnir has an armory. I will be doing that while you're out with Ashanti. As well as arranging those uniforms he mentioned, and to find if there are other stores of clothing you can have. You are of course welcome to anything I have, Haj, but I am sure you will be happier to have your own clothing."
She speaks rapidly. Her eyes are bright, but focused.
@Hadaza
Hadaza — 01/16/2022
Stunned, Hadaza takes the blaster and puts it in her belt beside beside knife.
She raises her hands to the now familiar triangular salute and bows to Tesara. "You are exceptionally generous, Tesara. Please forgive my earlier inconsiderate lapse. It was rude of me to forget our plans. It won't happen again."
@Tesara Anerin
Tesara Anerin — 01/16/2022
Tesara is confused for a moment, then remembers what Hadaza is speaking about. "Oh, that. I would be more concerned if this was our last day here, but we still have time. After seeking out an armory and clothing I will be there with them helping heal while you are out with Ashanti. Is there anything you would like me to ask them? It might give us a more direct place to start tomorrow when we go back with you."
@Hadaza
Hadaza — 01/16/2022
Having been forgiven, Haj adopts an easier posture.
"Again, I thank you for your generosity. I was hoping to be able to find clothes and gear at out next port." She chuckles. "I gather I won't be this one. Before we talk about our excursion, though, I have questions for you. You seemed really upset by Ashanti's presence. I can't argue that seeing the Princess like this is disquieting. But you appeared to be particularly upset. Why? Who is this 'Ashanti'?"
@Tesara Anerin
Tesara Anerin — 01/16/2022
Tesara motions for them to re-enter her room so this conversation can happen in private. Once inside, she closes the door and sits on the floor where she motions to Hadaza to do the same. "Astra suffers from a mental illness where parts of herself were somehow split from her. There are several, but the most powerful and dangerous is Ashanti. You saw the transformation when Ashanti took over and her eyes changed color. While it is true that allowing Ashanti to take over has saved Astra's life on more than one occasion, it also resulted in Ashanti basically kidnapping Astra's body to go and wreak havoc and murder several people. She is extremely dangerous and she hates the Jedi. Durro in particular. She is strong and unpredictable. My fear was that she would gain access to Astra's body and make motions to murder Durro." She sighs, closing her eyes. She breathes quietly for a moment, then continues. "I was relieved when that did not happen, but you must remember...everything that happens to Ashanti while she is in control will affect Astra. If Ashanti is injured, Astra is injured. We both know Astra is far stronger than she understands, but SHE is my friend, not Ashanti. SHE is the one I swore to protect with my life when I found out who she really is. Now, I am passing that oath to you for the duration of this trip. Please protect my friend."
@Hadaza
Hadaza — 01/16/2022
Hadaza takes all this in. She knows what it feels like to be divorced from the core of one's self, to have to pick up the pieces afterwards. It's a heavy burden.
What she doesn't understand is why, when Astra is being given a chance to be more than she is, she is resisting. Perhaps there is more here than she is being told.
"Tesara. I can't promise to do anything other than be with her and to try to keep things from passing the point of no return."
She pushes away from Tesara to put her back against the wall. "The Princess is an inspiration to me. She sets an example for my own healing and way of being. To lose her to her own fears and anger would break my heart. To fight for her is to fight for myself."
She takes a deep breath to steady herself, then continues.
"But as someone who has been denied a life, I feel for Ashanti. I feel her rage and her resentment. I feel her fear, the fear of them both, that it could all be taken away from them in the blink of an eye. That Ashanti feels like Astra is poisoning her on purpose ... can you see both sides. Have you no sympathy for Ashanti? They both deserve the right to exist."
@Tesara Anerin
Tesara Anerin — 01/16/2022
"I do, which is why I said that now we are aware that Ashanti is different from Astra in a way the others are not, she does deserve a vote or her wishes to be acknowledged. But who determines the amount of time one is in control over the other? Ashanti uses the Dark Side as one loves a lover. It is who she is and how she operates. This is antithetical to what Astra is and believes. It is a dangerous, slippery slope. Her reasoning to allow Astra re-control over the body may lessen the more she is free. If you were told you had to return to the derelict and wait until someone else had to come rescue you, you wouldn't soon agree to it." She takes another long breath. "As for the poisoning, I had not considered what it would feel like to them. That IS concerning. So we will have to wait and see."
@Hadaza
Hadaza — 01/16/2022
"If you were told you had to return to the derelict and wait until someone else had to come rescue you, you wouldn't soon agree to it." Tesara's words echo in her core and she shudders.
"If I were still on that derelict, I wouldn't wait. I would fight til I couldn't fight anymore. And I would do whatever it took to survive. I understand them both. I feel for them both. I will fight for them both, because they both have the right to exist."
She stands, unsettled. Papers on Tesara's desk rattle. "I lost everything, Tesara. I won't let Astra lose everything too. Neither will I let Ashanti. No one should have to experience what I have. No name. No sense of self. These beings have at least that. I intend to see that both of them keep those things."
She closes her eyes, calms herself, before continuing. "As for Ashanti's use of the Dark Side, I will have to capitulate to your knowledge and experience. As I understand it, the Force is neutral, natural. It is how you use it that gives it moral weight by another's judgement. Who are we to judge?"
She turns to leave the room. "I meant what I said, Tesara. I am grateful for your generosity and I look forward to going out with you tomorrow. As to your oath ... " she pauses. "... I will protect Princess Astra because she means a great deal to me. She is a symbol of my own salvation and I will kill or die to protect us both."
@Tesara Anerin
Tesara Anerin — 01/16/2022
"I understand, and I do agree with you that both of them deserve to...well... BE. And the Dark side is a poison on the Force. The more it is used, the more damage occurs to the body. It ages the body quicker, it damages internal organs and eyesight. How you use it IS judged by many but there are severe consequences." She sighs. "Thank you for protecting the both of them should it be necessary. And Hadaza..." She stands. "Good luck."
@Hadaza
Hadaza — 01/16/2022
She turns, her demeanour now feathery. The shadow of darkness that had been in the room a moment ago has pass as quickly as a cloud over the sun. Laughing sweetly, she says, "I'll take the luck ... but I'm more glad of the blaster."
In the threshold of the room she stops, lowers her head, and says softly, "I know you don't know this about me, but I am not inclined to Darkness. I may not know my true name, but I know this. The Dark is not my true nature. That said," she turns her head back into the room to look Tesara in the eyes. "I choose life ... always. And life isn't so black and white." With that, she steps out in the hallway to go find Ashanti and the Professor.
/end
Tesara Anerin — 01/16/2022
((yes))
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