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Chit Chat on the Flight Deck 1/23/2022
Mishka Winlat — 01/23/2022
On the Jupiter One, Mishka sat on the flight deck with Ryan, her eyes on everything ahead of them for a long moment. Her mind was still reeling from what she had witnessed earlier. Not everyone got to see an artificial black hole happen, but they had.
Glancing over to Ryan, a hand on her necklace and rubbing over it gently with her thumb, she shifted her weight. All of this, all of the weapons talk, and even just these little travels and adventures with Ava had gotten her thinking about the future. She prayed they had a future anyway. Would they survive this...what could it be called? Invasion? War? She was unsure of the answer at the moment.
"Ryan," Mishka began softly. "Have you thought about what we..." She hesitated to bring it up, afraid to see that frown on his face again. It had broken her heart a little to think he wasn't going to want children with her. Of course, she understood his reasons, but it still hurt. "Have you thought about what we spoke of before?"
@TheTraveler
TheTraveler — 01/23/2022
Ryan looked over a bit confused for a moment. Then gave a very concerned nod, "oh trust me. I don't ever stop thinking about it."
He leaned back in the pilot's chair and let out a long breath. "I mean it is literally the most important thing I think of when you come to mind."
He turned to face, "I mean, I love you Mistress. But we have to accept you are not very strong." He frowned deeply with sadness in his eyes, "I don't want to loss you. And Sinya is just so dangerous and unforgiving!"
@Mishka Winlat
Mishka Winlat — 01/23/2022
Confused by Ryan's logic, Mishka frowned as well. "What does Sinya have to do with it?" She asked with a hint of frustration in her tone. "I highly doubt a woman I barely know has any say in whether or not I have children."
And there was also his statement about her not being very strong. Something about the words caused a horrible image to flash across her mind and she jerked slightly. Both ears twitched harshly and she gripped onto her necklace tightly as a feeling of panic tried to claw its way into her.
"I know I'm not the strongest, but at least I can handle the kickback of a shotgun" She stated with a heavy sigh. "Do you really think I'm not very strong?" Why did it bother her so much that he said that about her? To her?
It was times like these she wished Aneta was still alive. Her older sister always know what to say and do.
"I love you too, Ryan," She added with a slight flush to her face.
@TheTraveler
TheTraveler — 01/23/2022
He blinked at her with so much surprise and confusion, "having children?"
He shifted nervously in his chair, "I thought you were talking about Sinya. I mean we were just talking about her."
He tried to let his nervousness slipped through a weak sad laugh, "you are not weak comparted to some. But to her, I mean, I am weak and I just don't want you hurt."
He let out a sigh of defeat, "okay, clearly I missed something."
He raised his hands, palm facing her, in surrender, "okay, you weren't asking or were worried about Sinya, got it."
He blinked, tilting his head, "children," he said softly slowly lowing his hands. "Well yeah, I have thought about it and it scares me. But I want you to be happy."
He turned one hand and counted with his finger, "first, hell yeah I want to have kids one day." He continued to count, "second, it means," he grinned looking in to her eyes with a naughtily smile.
"But are you sure this is the right time," he said softly lowering his hands once more, "I mean with the Swarm and all."
He paused then
@Mishka Winlat
Mishka Winlat — 01/23/2022
Mishka was thoughtful for a very long time. So long, in fact, that Ryan probably assumed she wouldn't answer. The words that finally came out, though, were soft and possibly surprising.
"Now is the best time for children, Ryan." She explained, setting both hands down on her lap. The emotions swirling around in her mind were that of love and determination mixed with a little fear. "They will give us even more reason to defeat the Swarm, to make sure they have a future."
When she was done, Mishka felt a bit corny. She sounded too much like her father when she spoke like that, but he was the one she had learned it from. He had taught her to fight for what she loved and believed in.
"I already have a big reason to fight sitting right next to me." She added, looking to Ryan with a soft smile on her face. "I've also got Ava and all of the friends I've kind of made on my way here, too."
Keeping her gaze on Ryan, she waited to see what he would say about all of this.
@TheTraveler
TheTraveler — 01/23/2022
Ryan did in fact feel like she wasn't going to answer. The awkward silence between them was like torturer for him. He wasn't sure what to do, so he just turned and continued flying the ship.
His heart was in pain as his mind played cruel games on his heart. Imagining each word he had used and how it had hurt her. By the time she spoke again, it was all he could do to hold back the tears.
As he listened to her words, he couldn't find his own words to speak. She was right, after all. He half smiled as continued about having a reason right next to her.
It was time for his heart to get some payback on his mind. The happiness within him spread like a fire.
"We will have to speak with Ava and see if we can get us scheduled for physicals and all. Just to make sure," he looked down as he spoke, "I am able to give you kids." There was a hint of embarrassment and shame in his voice.
@Mishka Winlat
Mishka Winlat — 01/23/2022
Mishka tilted her head to the side as if confused by his statement. "Well, I would like to get physicals done...especially on myself." She murmured, slight concern in her voice. She both knew and did not know why she felt such a need, but something in her gut said to do it.
She didn't want to cause any kind of harm to Ryan, after all.
"What makes you think you aren't able to give me kids, though, Ryan?" She inquired, ears twitching that usual curiosity she always had.
@TheTraveler
TheTraveler — 01/23/2022
Ryan continued to fly the ship as her question brought up painful memories. Memories he didn't really want to share, but it was Mishka. His chosen Mistress.
He let out a slight sigh, "when I was attack, well they beat me afterwards. The doctors said that none of that stuff worked anymore." He tried to be a vague as possible while still telling her what she needed to know.
His face flushed with redness as he continued, "When Amy got pregnant, they said it was a miracle." He frowned, "I want there to be another miracle, for you. But at the same time, I don't want you to think there is something wrong with you if we don't create a child."
He slowly stopped talking to let her soak in what he had said. There was a lump growing in his throat that seemed like anyone could see. He just kept flying the ship as he waited for her reply.
@Mishka Winlat
Mishka Winlat — 01/23/2022
Her ears twitching again, Mishka bit at her bottom lip and contemplated her next words. She had to think over what had just told her, register his words carefully. She could only imagine the pain he had been in and it broke her heart to recall he had been hurt so badly at one time in his life.
"I just want to make sure I can have children in general." She finally stated, a sad expression forming on her face. The small bits of memory she kept getting flashes of told her things she honestly did not want to believe. Well, she assumed they were memories because there was no way she would just imagine such things happening to her.
Turning her head, she gazed at him with a kind smile. "We'll do this together, okay?"
@TheTraveler
TheTraveler — 01/23/2022
Ryan saw the pain on her face and it killed him to put her that kind of pain. He almost hated himself for it. Then she spoke.
He gave her a half smile. It wasn't perfect but it was enough. "I know we will," he said with happiness in his voice.
He knew he had chosen right in her. And it was the reason why he loved her so mucn.
@Mishka Winlat
Mishka Winlat — 01/24/2022
Those happy little butterflies in Mishka's stomach fluttered again, heat beginning to rise to her face as she focused on their flight path. Never in her life had she felt more comfortable with anyone aside from her sister. Their parents had been loving and kind, but they weren't the most comfortable people to be around at times. She always felt there was a reason to keep certain things to herself.
"You really do make me feel whole, Ryan," She finally admitted.
@TheTraveler
TheTraveler — 01/24/2022
Ryan's heart jumped and screamed for joy. He sighed softly to himself with a smile cause he knew his heart always did that when she said things like that. He would have spoken in that moment, but his words would have been more blabber than coherent thought. So he just smiled back to her.
He drew in a deep breath, "Mistress," he finally said softly. "have you ever heard of Tesrun Oysters?" he laughed a bit as the thought formed in his mind. It would be cute and sweet. "They are not very special, or even rare for that matter. But each one is made up of two halves of a shell."
He turned to her, "you are the half of my shell that brings my whole world together."
In hind sight, it sounded king of corny now. That and a more wordy version of what she just said. He felt the heat on his face grow.
@Mishka Winlat
Mishka Winlat — 01/25/2022
"Tesrun Oysters?" Mishka whispered, testing the name on her tongue to see how it felt. It was odd how comforting the two words were.
So distracted by her thoughts, the half-Bothan almost missed what Ryan said. It took her a long moment to register what he had said, but the more it clicked into place, the darker her blush became.
"Oh, Ryan," She practically squeaked out the words, hands going up to hide her reddened face. "That is one of the sweetest things you've said to me."
She meant it, too. If not for the fact he was piloting the shit at the moment, she would have pulled him into a tight hug and kissed him deeply. Instead, she kept her blushing face hidden.
@TheTraveler
TheTraveler — 01/25/2022
Ryan smiled as she spoke and half turned to her with a nod, "I wanted to ask you something, Mistress."
He paused a moment as he formed the question in his mind. He didn't want to hurt her feelings or anything.
"Did you know that there are dozens of forms of Spice. GlitterSpice is my favorite. That is what you experienced." He withdrew from his question, worried that it would offend her.
"There are cheaper, more um, well more dangerous Spice out there," he explained.
@Mishka Winlat
Mishka Winlat — 01/26/2022
Ears twitching, Mishka raised an eyebrow with slight concern. "I'm aware. The books you got me describe them in detail along with side effects and what withdrawal symptoms may be." She explained.
She just gazed at him for a moment before continuing. "Ryan, you didn't ask your question." The half-Bothan pointed out and gave him a smile to help lighten the mood a little.
It was concerning to see him be so hesitant about something with her. Mishka wanted to be someone that Ryan could tell anything to, confide in, and know he was safe with her.
As she waited for his reply, she silently promised to always be there for Ryan and protect him
@TheTraveler
TheTraveler — 01/26/2022
Ryan screamed in the back of his mind. He suddenly felt like a moron for just not asking his question in the first place.
Turning to her, "yeah, withdrawal symptoms," he said as he laughed nervously.
Suddenly feeling trapped between a rock and a hard place that he himself created for no good reason, he let out a long sigh.
"I just wanted to ask. Your sister, well you two don't share similar features," he asked.
@Mishka Winlat
Mishka Winlat — 01/26/2022
The smile began to slip away slightly, but Mishka did not allow it to ruin her mood. "You're avoiding asking your question." She commented and fiddled with her necklace. "Yes, my sister and I are...erm...were quite an odd sight in public. We had different mothers. At least that's what father told me."
She shrugged and finally gave Ryan a stubborn look. "Now, can you please ask your question?" She persisted. "I'm not going to get angry or upset, I promise. I..." She glanced away for a moment, almost feeling corny or lame for what she was about to say. "I want you to be able to trust me and confide in me, no matter the subject."
Her thumb was rubbing at her necklace nervously now. It had taken a good amount of mental pushing to make herself say all of that.
@TheTraveler
TheTraveler — 01/26/2022
Ryan turned his head with his mouth hanging open in disbelief. "Um," he said struggling to get his words. "Well..." then he busted out laughing.
He leaned over slightly towards her, "I do love you."
Getting control of his laughter, "I wanted to know why you and your sister were so different."
He leaned back up and stretched, "I have seen many Bothans in my life. She had to have some of the best features in terms of Bothens."
Giving her a playful smile, "and you, you are just drop dead gorgeous."
@Mishka Winlat
Mishka Winlat — 01/26/2022
Mishka's flushed face was her only answer to Ryan's compliment as she pushed back her long hair. It was still a little odd to be called gorgeous or beautiful, especially Mistress. She still had no clue how to handle that nickname he had given her.
Of course, it did feel good in a strange way, but still.
"I love you too, Ryan." She replied softly. "But yes, the differences between Aneta and I were quite obvious."
@TheTraveler
TheTraveler — 01/26/2022
Ryan continued to smile and took her response, both physical and verbal as permission to continue.
"Okay, so different mothers," he said in conformation. He still wasn't sure if this was okay, but he was going to try. "Would you like to tell me more about her, you, growing up," he asked softly.
@Mishka Winlat
Mishka Winlat — 01/27/2022
Mishka smiled at what he wanted to know and leaned back in her seat. "Well," She began and rubbed her thumb over the necklace she wore again. "Growing up with Aneta for an older sister was like having my best friend around all the time. Sure, like any siblings we had our differences and arguments, but at the end of the day, we still loved each other."
She took a moment to think, recalling how she met her sister. "I remember picking her up for the first time to come live with us. She gave me a book and we started talking about life. Before I knew it we both were giggling by the time Mom and Dad got back to the speeder."
Then a slight frown formed on her face. " I did find it odd that we had to pick her up." She continued. " Dad said it was because she was at school or something, though."
Mishka merely smiled and shrugged before going on to explain a few childhood adventures she and Aneta had. She just hoped she wasn't boring Ryan.
@TheTraveler
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