Gratitude and Southern Comfort (Jonash and Unna)

[Jonash Solo]

Jonash walks through the ship getting used to both his new eyes and his new surroundings. He's already familiar with the schematics, but schematics only tell you how the ship *should* have been put together. They don't tell you about the material substitutions made to stay on budget and on schedule nor the various "fixes" engineers have employed to build and repair the ship.

This walkthrough is merely a distraction from the emotional pain of losing his love. She saved many lives that day with hers and he would trade them in a heartbeat to have her in his arms again. Jonash hated himself for feeling that way. Suddenly, he stopped. He recalled a moment where this pain and hatred was being slowly eroded away like sand on a beach.

*knock knock* (on the door to Unna's quarters)

[Unna Hi Chaanu]

Unna had been enjoying some solitude when it was interrupted by a knocking on her door. "Now what?" she uttered to herself, expecting there to be another galactic disater to tend to. She opened her door and was pleasantly surprised to see Jonash, who was the newest addition to the crew, so she had a feeling that it was not an emergent situation. If he was actually seeing Unna for the first time, he would see a 6'1" Iktotchi with fleshy pink skin and red eyes. Her horns were decorated with sparkling crystals and she wore high fashion clothes that were all the rage on Coruscant. She didn't look at all like she belonged on a military vessel. She looked like a far more outgoing being than her usual tone of voice would imply.

"Hello, Jonash," Unna said politely. "Please come in," she spoke as she stepped out of the doorway, clearing a path for him to enter.

[Jonash Solo]

"Uh. Hi ... Unna?  Can I have a seat."  Jonash walks to the bed and takes a seat. 
(Unna senses that Jonash is taken aback because this is the first time he's seen her and that his rudeness is due to his recent loss).

"I'm sorry to barge in like this.  I just wanted to say thanks for the help yesterday."  Jonash begins to get up ...
(Unna senses genuine gratitude and that Jonash has more to share, if she chooses to ask).

[Unna Hi Chaanu]

Unna remained standing by the door as Jonash entered. Her gaze followed him with an unchanging stoic expression as he sat on her bed to express his gratitude. However, she did raise her eyebrows after he stood up very soon after siting down. "No need to leave so soon," Unna gestured for him to sit back down, "You may stay if you wish. If I look like a bitch or like I don't want company, well, that is just my face. Demaya says I should smile more often. Anyway, I would imagine that you have a lot on your mind and I'm not busy with anything important, should you feel the desire to discuss any of it."

[Jonash Solo]

Jonash tilts his head to the side slightly.  After a moment, he flashes half a wry smile, laughs to himself, and shakes his head subtly no.
(Unna senses confusion at first and then a sudden shift towards an inner strength she did not expect.)

He leans in, squints slightly, and points his finger in Unna's direction.  "Demaya can take those smiles ..." Jonash points to his right, "and shove them up her ass for all I care.  A smile never prevented tragedy.  It doesn't get you through tough times.  All it does is provide cover to weak people who can't face that life is hard.  This universe needs more people like us who can stare tragedy in the eye and ask for more."

Jonash sits on the bed, looks down, and resumes in a more melancholy tone, "The last thing my love did before she died ... ", Jonash looks up and gazes at Unna, "was smile at me."
(Unna senses a mixed bag of emotions - love, sadness, anger, and ... relief).

He leans back, arms behind his head, and crosses his legs, "So, enough about me.  How'd you get the resting bitch face?"

[Unna Hi Chaanu]

(Due to my dominant hand being swollen and in pain, I won't be narrating unnecessary actions/expressions for the character)

"I believe I would smile very genuinely if I saw you tell all of that to Demaya. As for my face, I feel like I was born this way, but I supppse that is because I have felt this way for so long. I feel that I would have to reflect on it, which I prefer not to do. I watched my entire family die when I was young, followed by dead mentors, friends, chosen family. I feel like to love someone is to curse them"

[Jonash Solo]

In a resigned tone, "It would fall on deaf ears."

Jonash pulls a flask from his jacket, opens it, and starts to take a swig. He catches Unna's gaze, stops drinking, and closes it. Nodding towards the flask, "This is how I smile. I guess I'm as weak as this Demaya, just booze instead of smiles."
(Underneath the self-hatred, Unna senses an odd sense of gratitude.)

Staring at the flask, quietly to himself, "Love is a curse."

Looking up towards Unna again, "I don't know what's worse. Watching a loved one die or knowing you are destined to break each other's hearts."
(Unna senses sadness and relief.)

"So what do you live for then?" After a brief pause, Jonash gets up, "I should get going, the ship ain't gonna fix itself."

[Unna Hi Chaanu]

"You must not know Demaya well," Unna flashed a quick smile. "She thinks I should smile, but she is a different story."

"Love indeed is a curse. One thing the Jedi I trained alongside had right in their philosophy was the lack of attachment rule. I think their reasoning was different than mine, but lack of attachment helps with lack of pain. I broke that rule a few years ago and my emotions still punish me to a good extent. A tough lesson learned and I suffer the occasional reminder."

"I do not know what I live for, but I do hope to live long enough to find out. What about you? If you need to leave now, I will accompany you if you wouldn't find me too distracting."

[Jonash Solo]

Jonash taps on the flask, "Your company is probably better than this."
(Unna senses appreciation and relief)

"I never understood the Jedi attachment thing.  Give up love to avoid a little pain?  It's like giving up eating to avoid a few tummy aches.  I don't see how any Jedi in their right mind can't see through that bullshit."

[Unna Hi Chaanu]

"That actually isn't the Jedi reasoning. That was my reasoning, or at least what I think my reasoning is. The mind is an incredible thing and it finds ways of protecting us. For me, the lack of attachment does seem to help with lack of pain, however it is not a conscious decision that I make. I hear that we can not choose who we love. I feel like I can not choose who I don't love. I just do not feel a lot of love. I do enjoy the company of certain people, including you, but I do not often feel great loss once the people are gone anymore. Since my family died, I have lost many people who were close to me, but I do not feel it. It is a numbness and I'm sure I could 'benefit' from counseling," Unna spoke the word 'benefit' in a sarcastic tone, "but I don't want to. I think this works for me. Now that I think of it, my numbness is my whiskey. I do not choose to drink my numbness, but I suppose I have been choosing to hold onto it, even if I have not made a conscious effort to do so. I still believe, that as a mechanic, it is a bad idea to be under the influence of a substance while you are making repairs to this ship or any other mechanism for that matter. It pleases me to hear that you think my company is probably better than the whiskey. I do believe that I am better for your liver as well."