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RE: Gadeon Halvran - aipsylon
Things were getting worse and worse for Gadeon. His thoughts got more and more conflicted every time he ran through him. He remembered there was a time when things used to be far more simple. He desperately wanted to go back to those times, but he knew it could not be done. What he could not see why it could not happen was why their traveling group could not manage it. Unna had hidden she was going to dinner with Graff from him, Duncan had approved of it. Jonash's covering for Ni was another example. He wondered when this changed. He remembered a time when they were a family, he wondered what had happened while he was gone to change that. Even when Auro drove him off they were still honest with one another.
He thought about the meeting with the chancellor, he had actually asked her to let him attack her so he could try to assassinate Graff. He had thought about it more and more since that day, the day that he saw the feed of Auro being beheaded. It had slipped into his head as an idea that would not leave. Why did you do that? Unna had asked him, he knew, but didn't tell her, he was no better than they were. Thank the force that the Chancellor had not agreed to it. It was wrong of him to do it. Why had he not realized that before, how had it slipped by him how easily those actions could slip and lead to the path to the dark side. A brush he had had with it because of anger, the same anger that kept flaring in him now. Every time he tried to calm himself it was there, it had to be controlled , pushed away. The more that he fought it the stronger it seemed to get. He needed to control himself and to get himself under control before he lost himself.
He thought about what he had done when he left them, left Unna, Ashla, Duncan, Demaya He had left them because he could not bear what was happening to his dear friend Auro. Now he saw the same happening again, this time to Unna. It was this galaxy, the wars the shades of grey everywhere. They were caught in it in the middle because of who they were, where they were, who they chose to associate with. He had seen how helpless, how powerless walking away left one, but there had to be a way, a way to live in the hurricane, but undisturbed, to be at its eye. He stayed focused thinking on it for some time, and finally arrived at something he hoped would be a solution. Now he just had to get everyone together once again.
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