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(7.8) Affairs of the Heart
(7.8) Affairs of the Heart
Fort St Angelo
Home of the Order of St John
Dishuan Desert
Outer Rim World of Baklid VI
June 11th, 1938
The Order of St John also known as the Knights of St John or Knights Hospitallers was one of the oldest members of the Galactic Church's Knight Roses. When the Church was just finding its routs, the Galaxy was caught within the flames that was burning the Republic to the ground. The first leaders of the Church knew that the Church was very vulnerable to attack by one or many other threats. To answer these threats, the Orders of the Knight Roses were created. Nine Holy Orders were formed during the first decades of the Church with the mission of defending the Church from any and all threats. Of the nine Holy Orders of the Knight Rose, none had captured the hearts and minds of the commoners of the Galaxy as the Knights of St John. While other Knight Rose orders took on a direct military role during the fall of the Republic, the Knights of St John spread throughout the galaxy seeking to heal the bodies and hearts of those who were caught in the middle of the chaos that engulfed the Galaxy. They never grew to the large military units like the other eight Orders of the Knight Roses. However that didn't mean that they were militarily weak.
During the third century after the fall of the Great Republic, the Knights of St John were finally put to the test of fire. Prior to this, they had become well known for their healing abilities and hospitable nature. They would routinely seek out the poor, sick and needy to provide them with care that those misfortunate souls so badly needed. The Knights were sent to the world of Kamar to assist in helping refugees that had fled from the fighting throughout the near by Wyl sector. The fighting within the sector had grown so badly out of control that it created a even worse threat to the region. This new threat was the ruthless warlord named Bynsluth. Bynsluth had made it his personal mission to hunt down and murder any and all family members of those who dared opposed him. He had cut a path of death and destruction across the Wly sector and Kamar was next on his list. Beyond Kamar laid the seat of the Churches power, Baklid VI. A large group of refugees from the nearby world of Bonadan had arrived on Kamar months after the Knights of St John had arrived. With them were the families members of soldiers who had attempted to repeal Bynsluth's invasion of Bonadan. Bynsluth followed the fleeing refugees to Kamar and learned just before landing that the world was under the protection of the Knights of St John. Their reputation had already been well known as healers but not as warriors. A fact that led Bynsluth in to a tragic miscalculation. He demanded that the Knights surrender the family members or else face destruction.
Grand Master Yeeru Beldune, an Adarian and leader of the Order during the crisis, invited the ruthless warlord to discuss the matter over lunch. The Grand Master insured that the warlord would be protected at all times and that no one would threaten him. Bynsluth wanted to get a first hand look at the Knights before ordering the invasion. He picked his team with spying in mind. The Church was well known for retaliating on those who attacked their people. This situation would have to be handled very carefully if Bynsluth was to get the family members without temping the Church's reaction. His plan was to hit the Knights so hard and so fast that they would not be able to call for help. The fact that they were not warrior knights like the other Orders of the Knight Rose made this plan all that more appealing. The two talked long in to the night about many things including the fate of the family members. Grand Master Beldune lived up to the reputation of the Order. In the end, the warlord refused to leave the world without those whom he came for and Grand Master Beldune refused to surrender them. The warlord left the world empty handed and determined to get what he came for. Once he arrived back aboard his flag ship, he ordered his forced to land and take the family members by force.
The first forces of Bynsluth were to land nearly up top of the knights in what was to be a surprise invasion. What they got was heavy fire from the knight which nearly wiped out the first wave long before they had a chance to land. The weapon's fire from the knights was highly accurate and steady despite the orbital bombardment. Bynsluth was forced to change his tactics in mid invasion or see his forces get wiped out. This drove the next wave in to landing nearby the walled city that the Knights had occupied. Bynsluth ordered his forces to take the city at all costs. The siege of the city would go down in Church Archives as the Siege of St John. Less than eight hundred Knights would hold off hordes of invaders from Bynsluth's army. Wave after wave pushed against the defenders and each time, the invaders were pushed back. For nearly thirty days, the Knight held out against the ruthless attacks by Bynsluth. The Siege would finally be broken during the last attack against the city. Bynsluth choose to lead this attack personally with his own body guards by his side. During the attack, Bynsluth and Beldune found themselves locked in mortal combat along the north walls of the city.
High above the battle for all to see, the two leaders fought for their side. Slowly the combat below took a back seat to the clash between the two leaders. Both men fought with sword in hand and used every skill they had to best the other. The Church historian Ponme Copa recorded his eyewitness accounts of the personal combat between the two leaders, “As the sun broke over the horizon, the shadows of these two great leaders stretched for all to see. Slowly and surely, each soldier turned their eyes upward toward the top of the North Wall. The battle above drew so much attention that all manner of conflict below seemed to stop. For as far as I could see, not one set of eyes looking away from the battle. Each leader was dressed for their part as they seemed to dance before us. These men were more of performers displaying their gifts for all to see. The golden light of the sun reflected down to my eyes and I saw in that moment the will of God at work. Beldune's blade sliced through Bynsluth's neck as the final act of a great play which has just come to its apex. Blood sprayed out from the wound signaling the end of Bynsluth's demonic blood lust across the stars. It was seen as fitting end for a creature that shed so much blood in the name of only war.”
Never before would the reputation of the Order of St John be questioned. They are one of the finest members of the Order of the Knight Rose within the Church. During the siege, the Church never sent help for the embattled the Knights of St John. Not because the Church didn't care, but because Grand Master Beldune never doubted the ability of his Knights to hold back the darkness. Records would indicate that it was Grand Master Beldune which openly refused assistance or the order to withdraw from Kamar. Grand Master Beldune refused to compromise what he felt was the just thing to do. Even when threaten with the destruction of his beloved Order, he gave them hope in the words, “Many believe this is our darkest hour. Many believe that we will fall at any minute. Many expect us to go in to the night. I say many are WRONG! This shall be our finest hour. We shall not fall. We shall not go in to the night. We shall be victorious. Why? Because my brothers and sisters. We fight for something more than our beliefs. We fight for what is right. We fight for what is just. We fight the Lord's battles!”
The battle of Kamar was very important for the Church in a number of ways. First due to its close proximity to Baklid VI and second it gave the Church much needed credibility. Prior to this battle, the Church had taken some ill gotten steps during the fall of the Republic. These steps tarnished the Church's reputation to so many throughout the Galaxy. While the Church had done much to clean up the tarnish on its reputation. The heroics by the Knights of St John in defending innocent refugees helped build the reputation of the Church to what it is today. The Coat of Arms for the Knights of St John is one of the most recognized symbols of the Church throughout the Galaxy. It shall always been seen as a symbol of healing and shelter to those in need. The Siege of St John would become legendary throughout the Tingel Arm and an inspiration to the other Orders of the Knight Roses. And while the Order of St John would become involved in other battles throughout their long history, none would hold as much weight as the battle of Kamar. This one battle would became a tradition which future Knights of St John would become inspired by.
Deep within the Fort of St Angelo, two knights spar with wooden swords. While modern weapons are still taught to knights, the art of sword play is always a keen focus for the Knights. It was sword play which made the victory during the Siege of St John possible. It is something that had been ingrained in to the minds of every knight since that time. Thought currently one Knight is having more problems to focus than others. “You are not at your best today” Grand Master Kabe said as he swung his sword at his sparing partner. Kade is a small framed being with a flat face. His eyes were round and dark in color. His ears were large and up right. Still Chadra-Fan Grand Master stood slightly taller than his opponent.
Canny Dagwa attempted to dodge the incoming attack but he was right, her mind was not on training today. Kade got inside her defenses and made her pay for her mistake. The hit was hardly life threatening, but it did smart as she let out a hiss from the pain. Her body was covered in gray feathers, and her head was bare except for a fringe of feathers covering the back of her head. Normally her head feathers were brown since the day of her birth, however as of late, they have started to take on a rainbow of color and beauty. The young Mrissi rolled with the last hit and lunged half heartedly at her Grand Master. It was a move that she had invented and honed in to a prefect strike. Though today it was anything but prefect. Once more Kade made her pay for her mistake as he parried the attack and smacked her on the back of the head as she moved passed him. Once more she let out a hiss from the pride wounding blow.
“That is enough” Kade said as he lowered his weapon. “I don't understand it. Before your mission to Ashiwa, you were my best student. Now, you are no better than some of my first year squires.” There was no anger in his eyes, but there was lots of concern for the young Knight that he calls daughter. “Canny, what is wrong?”
Canny turned as she rubbed the back of her head. The knot would clearly show in time. She could already feel it building. “Kade, there is something that I have not spoken about during my debriefings. At first I believed it would just go away. But with each passing moment I find that it occupies more of my thoughts.” She sighed as she hung her head low, “I have been seeking wisdom in pray for this problem. But I don't yet have an answer.” walked over to the wall and hung her training sword up, “I just don't know where to turn. I know the teachings of the Church. Don't get me wrong. I am not questioning them. I just don't know where to turn. Do I seek insight from within? Seek insight from the elders, or turn to prayer and hope something will come to me” She didn't turn to look back at Kade as her eyes were fixed on the wooden swords before her. She had known Kade all her life, so she felt comfortable having this conversation with him. After all, he was more like a father to her than anything else.
Kade didn't understand where this was going or where it was from. But he knew her better and decided to allow her mind to take them where it wanted them to go. “Child, we are encouraged to seek guidance from within ourselves as well as seeking it from the Lord. Though, so many times, what we want is not always what the Lord has planed for us. It is in those times that we have to judge what is in our hearts against what is in our desires. Must conflicts, the like of which you are speaking arise when we know what we want and what is right for us. The Lord gives us free choice to decide. That doesn't mean we always decide right, however.” he trailed off hoping that this would help her through what is clearly bothering her.
“On Ashiwa, I met someone Kade. He was a Mrissi just like me.” she finally confessed her secret. Well part of it so far.
“Aw” he said having already half suspected this fact, “it is the eyes of a man which is distracting my best student” Kade said playfully as he walked over to her. He reached up and placed his training sword on the wall as well.
She turned and took a step back from him to give him room. “Its not just that Kade. He had some pretty radical ideas.” She paused at her own statement. “Okay maybe it is a bit more than I want to admit, but Kade I am telling you. He really did have a lot of ideas that made sense to me.” She didn't like the idea of lying to him. Already her heart had suffered during her debriefings. But she couldn't betray what truly happened on Ashiwa. She gave her word to this man, and she never broke her word. “Though there is something in his eyes that does draw me” the other half of the secret. It was the half that was causing her the most distractions at the moment.
He smiled at her admission, “You think you are the first Knight to be touched by love?” He motioned for her to follow him as he started to walk across the training room. His class was not due to arrive for another hour. He already knew that she was too distracted to continue training. Helping her reach the cause of this distraction would be far more important for her.
“I know that love is an emotion that we are taught to suppress. I know that emotions, when allowed to run freely can cause great hardships on us.” she explained as she walked behind him.
He nodded to her statement as he walked through the opened doorway that led to the balcony. “Yes, emotions can cause us great hardships. But that doesn't mean that we should fearful of them. We are taught to suppress them because so many fail to heed warnings of what problems emotions can cause.” he paused to look out from the balcony. It was hear that the first battle of the Church was fought so long ago. “Love is a beautiful thing. It can teach us so much about who we are and what be believe in. But there are dangers as well. When we love but fail to let go, we betray the wishes of the Lord. Sometimes we are given a chance to feel love. The Lord allows us to have these chances to help us grow as people.” he turned to face her, “We should feel it, enjoy it. Learn from it. But never allow it to consume us.” he smiled at her, “I too have had that look in my own eyes, that I see in yours.”
Her shocked looked betrayed her feelings, “You were in love?”
He nodded once more and continued to smile, “I was once young like you. Filled with the urges of spring. There was a lovely girl who lived in that village over there.” he pointed to a village nearly on the horizon. “As kids growing up, we were close friends and worked in the fields together. Each morning I would sneak some honey bread from the kitchen. I would take it to her in the fields. She would think it was so sweat of me. How much I loved her, but soon that love became a distraction. My Master saw this, just like I see it in you now.” he stepped back and slipped down in to a chair. “He encouraged me to go to her and tell her how I feel. So one night, with my Master's help I was able to sneak out of the Fort. I ran the whole way to the village.” He turned his head as if reliving that night time journey. “I got there, but didn't know which house was hers.” he laughed slightly, “Its funny, we had spent all that time talking and playing together, but I never once asked her where she lived. It took most of the night, but I did find her.”
Canny looked in to his eyes as he told the story. “So what happened? Did you tell her?”
He nodded, “Aye, I did find her and I did tell her how I felt. She did feel the same way for me. That brought my world in to a much brighter place. For the next three weeks, everything seemed to look so much brighter. I loved every minute of it.”
Looking a bit confused, “Wait. What do you mean for the next three weeks.”
The smile never faded, “Almost four weeks later, she died during an accident within the fields. She and five others were killed when their cart flipped over.”
Canny moved closer and slipped to her knees before her long time friend. “I bet you were crushed.”
He nodded his head but his smile confused her, “I was for a bit. I refused to eat, refused to even leave my bed. I felt so bad that I couldn't do anything. After a couple of days, my Master came to me to talk. It was the first time that I opened my door to him. He came in to my room and explained something to me. He said that I was given a rare opportunity. He asked me how did the girl make me feel? So I told him. He asked me what her love felt like to me. So I told him. He asked, if I still loved her. I told him yes. He said that had she not been in my life, I might not have ever had the chance to feel this way. He said that I should be grateful for the memories I have and to not allow her death to take them away from me. He said, that if I loved her, I had to let her soul go on to God while allowing the memories of our love to enrich my future.”
She sighed, “So maybe it is not a good idea for me to explore this?”
He shook his head, “I don't agree with that. It is after all your choice. But if you don't go you will never know. If the love you feel is felt by him or if it is only you. I will not deceive you. There are risks Canny. You could very well have your heart broken. But you could very find out that he loves you as well. Either way, the chance that your life will be enriched by it is possible. What you do with this experience is completely up to you. With love, I have seen great things done. Because of love, I have seen horrible things done.”
She sighed once more, “I don't know what to do. Each time I close my eyes, I see his looking back at me. I felt the warmth of his breath on my neck as if he is standing right behind me. Next month, I take my last Talisman.” she said speaking of her last Right of Passage on her way to becoming a fully recognized Master Rose. It was one of the highest ranks reachable within the Order of the Rose. For all members of the Order of the Rose, reaching the rank of Master Rose is nothing short of a life long achievement. Canny had been working towards this goal for as long as she could remember. For the first time in her life, something seemed more important to her than taking the last Talisman. “I will not lie to you Kade. There is doubt in my heart. I do not know if this doubt is from my love for him or the ideas that he spoke so enlightened about. I can think of no better life for me than to serve the Lord and tend to his flock. I know how hard I have been working through my Talismans, but how can take this last step when there is doubt in my heart.” She rested her head on his knee as she continued as her mind raced through the thoughts.
It was true that she had been working so hard for this single goal. Kade was also right, she was one of his best students. Not that she tried to out shine everyone else. Far from the truth in fact. She spent much of her free time helping others within her Order and sharing her own knowledge with them. It was just that things came so much easier to her than others. There was no sense that she was better than anyone else and she hoped no one felt that way about her. She always looked to her fellow Knights with a great sense of respect and showed them her own sense of humility. She let out a deep sigh as she closed her eyes, “I just don't know what to do.”
He nodded as he rested his hand on her head. For him, this was nature between the two of them. Since the day he found her as a child in a refugee camp on Dellalt. Their colony had been attacked and had to flee a war on her homeworld. Her family was so poor that they had been tricked in to selling themselves in to slavery for passage to Dellalt. Luckily for the family, Kade had stumbled upon the family and learned of their plight. He paid their debt to the starship captain and invited them to come live on Baklid VI. He sensed God's hand in their youngest daughter, Canny. He took her under his wing and taught her to be a Knight Rose. Since that day, he treated her like a daughter and she treated him like a father. “If this was me, I would go to him and tell him how I feel. Be truthful and seek truth from him.”
She couldn't help but laugh at the comment, “getting truth from him, is something I don't think will be a problem. When he decides to talk, I have not heard him lie. Nor do I think I will. The trick is getting him to answer directly.” a soft smile started to build across her beak as she remembered her encounter with him. “Which in a way, it is kind of, well, um, attractive. He never forces his knowledge on to others. He just lets people think of his words and allows them to come to their own conclusions.” Her tone changed as her soft smile faded, “what if he rejects me?”
Kade robbed her head feathers softly, “than you will know your answer. That does not mean it has to change you. Like all emotions, those which are tied to such deep routed feelings like love are very different from one person to another. Simply because one does not feel love for you, does not make them a bad person. Nor does that make you some how flawed. Do not fear the answer, Canny. It is when we fear that the most problems come to us. Accept the answer and decide if you wish to come home or not.”
She had not ever considered an option of not returning home. The idea of it was so strange. She knew that she was born on another world and had ventured to so many different worlds in pursuit of members of the Sabbat. But the idea of not returning to Baklid VI seemed like an idea that could never be. “I, I had not thought of not returning” she managed to say as her mind wrestled with the new possibility.
“Remember what the Scripture says about life” Kade stated to her, “It is fluid, and always changing. If the Lord has decided to place you o a different path, you must be willing to let go of your current path. Just like the River that changes over time. Some parts of the river will move and create new banks. While other parts of the river will change forever. Again, we should not fear these changes. Accept them as the Will of God and learn from them. This is why you must go. You must go and see what the Lord has intended for you.”
She lifted her head and turned to look Kade in the eyes. Her eyes were filled with a great sense of relief. “I think you are right, Kade” she said with a nod. “I will go to him and tell him the truth of how I feel. If he rejects me, than at least I will know. If he doesn't reject me, than I will explore this new path before me and see what it holds.”
Kade pulled his hands to together and returned her nod. As he listened to her statement he reached under his shirt and pulled out a necklace. Hanging from it was a ring, “I want you to carry this with you.” he said taking the ring of the necklace. He showed her the valuable ring with a brilliant red stone set in the center of it. The symbol of the Church on one side of the stone and the symbol of the Order of St John on the other side. He carefully handed it to her, “This belonged to the one I loved. I hang on to it to remind me that sometimes the Lord has different paths for all of us. Sometimes a person is in our life for just a short time. Other times, a person will come in to our life to help us through a situation or event. Than there are those rare times when someone comes in to our lives for a life time.” He paused a moment to remember is own lesson in this.
“Never mistake one for the other. And never hold it against them when it is their time to leave. Rejoice in the shared experiences and time spent together.” He looked in to her eyes as a father would look at his own daughter as she was going off with the man that she loved. Canny could not find the words that seemed to choke her in that moment. She nodded as she slowly stood up. She turned and started to walk from the balcony. However Kade stopped her before she vanished back inside. “Tell me Canny. What is the name of this man who has captured the heart of my best student?”
Canny paused as she rested her hand on the door frame. She turned back with that light in her eyes once more. Kade knew that she was in love and hoped for the best for her. She just smiled as she leaned on the door frame looking out over the sands of her world, “His name.....” she said almost dreaming he was here next to her. How she couldn't wait. Since the moment she returned home, she felt conflict and confusion in her emotions. Her mind seemed to be completely at odds with her heart. In this moment, she was filled with clarity and direction. Regardless of what his actions would be. She would follow this path for as long as it was meant for her. She turned her eyes back to Kade, “Visst Dassek” she said with a smile and almost a sigh. On that note she turned and vanished passed the doorway.
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