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(6.11) Crosswinds
(6.11) Crosswinds
On Departure, Twenty Hours Out
Inner Rim System of Hu'uf
Generation Ship, Narshana
2056 Standard Time
January 6th, 1937
Entering the garden, Daz took note of the talented Force-user hard at work. The garden reminded him those aboard Ka-riss-ah. Having been raised a Jedi, the duty she performed was a familiar one, but had he grown up in countless other cultures, he knew he would have associated it with agricultural droids. He wasn't sure why she was unarmed, though he suspected it had to do with the Force-crystal in his pouch. “Knight Murl, may I speak with you?” he asked softly.
Her work was as important as the lesson Master Scorylance gave her yesterday. If she failed at this task, members of their community would go hungry. That and she only had a short period of time before she was to move on to her next task. A diligent days work is all that was ever asked of any member of the Inner Light. The interruption was a distraction she really didn't have time for. However, it would have been disrespectful to not hear Citizen Murl out. She paused her work and turned to him while remaining on her knees. She nodded respectfully, “Yes you may” she said plainly.
He nodded, kneeling beside her. “The last time we spoke, you asked me whether I was in favor of justice or social punishment. I find myself at a crossroads in a matter involving both and seek your guidance. I have always sought justice, and I have always felt uncomfortable with social punishment. I have received both for my actions in the past, and as a result of my views and experience, I believe in justice without social punishment.”
'Seeking my guidance' she questioned herself. She had only recently reached Knight status and here was a former Jedi Master seeking her guidance. She had to think carefully, for only last night she was involved in a conversation with Master Scorylance about this very topic. “How can there be justice without social punishment? If I wrong you, and I apologize to you. It is said and done considering you accept that apology. However, for a society to survive, the act of forgiveness has to be more than how we treat each other on an individual bases. Laws exist to protect the society. Punishments exist to protect the laws and assure they are followed. If there is no punishment than would the laws hold as much meaning?” The laws of the Inner Light were pretty cut and dry. She had always been a strong supporter of order and for order to exist there had to be a structure to ensure that the guidelines are followed. Hence her lesson from Master Scorylance yesterday. She felt that maybe she could learn something from someone so versed in the galaxy. She decided to listen and question even her own views to see what he could offer her.
“I asked myself similar questions. Master Visst offers a third path: Redemption. I, myself, have been a beneficiary of his method. He kept me from ruin, though he was willing to see me pushed to the brink of it, with the promise of redemption.” he replied.
It was not the impression she had from her talks with Master Visst, however she figured that she had misunderstood something during the conversations. “Redemption is a wise path. It works well among groups like the Inner Light. But fails in larger terms. You killed so many above during your dark years. Rather you meant it or not, you were responsible. That blood is still on your hands. You have since redeemed yourself. Do you think the families of your victims have accepted your redemption? We, the Inner Light have been debating this very issue. I personally feel that within smaller communities, Justice and Redemption can work. But when you are speaking of larger scales, the laws have to be enforced by something more solid. There has to be a form of social punishment.”
“Would social punishment absolve me of responsibility for those deaths? And would families of the murderers Master Visst now shelters feel any differently than the families of those who died through my recklessness?”
His comment took her back as he spoke. 'This is a mistake' she thought as she realized the sensitive nature of the conversation. She took in a deep breath and lowered her voice hoping that Daz would meet her lowered tone, “Citizen Murl, you are under the wrong impression. Social Punishment is not for the guilty. It is, in my opinion, for the healing of the society. To see that their laws have been upheld and that their sense of morals have been proven. This is why redemption fails on larger scales. Look at Master Weirn, she had been cleansed of her darkness. She was a better person for it and became a wise leader of our Order. The Sith known as Vos Canto, had also enjoyed the same redemption ten years before. Cleared of his guilt he returned to the very people he wrong with hopes of making things right. Their distrust of him and unwillingness to forgive him drove him to return to the ways of darkness. Both enjoyed Redemption. One made a better life, the other murdered again.”
Daz considered her words, deciding to ask another question as he weighed the implications, “Do I no longer have the respect of your Council?”
If he could have seen her face, he would have seen the shocked look as a reaction to the off the wall question. It took her completely by surprise, “your question is driven by the acceptance of others. Do they respect me, Do they like me, these things are foreign concepts to us. For us, it is the endless journey in which Master Weirn has taught us that is notable. Regardless of who we are or what we do, we must stay true to our journey. We are Inner Light. Nothing more nothing less. Regardless of what one does, are they seeing their journey to its conclusion. Are you seeing your journey to its conclusion?” She knew that such a question should only be addressed by those on the Council. It was not her place to speak for any of them. After all, she was just a humble Knight.
After taking a moment to gather her thoughts, she found another way to better answer his question. “I can not see how our acceptance of you would matter. We shall not be here much longer.”
“You must mean that members of your community will merge with other Force-using traditions.”
Once more he surprised her with another off the wall statement, “I have heard no such plans. Though I am not aware of all in which the Council discusses. I am speaking of leaving this ship. We were never meant to be like this. Traveling the stars in a metal world where the air is so...fake. we are seeking a place to call home once more.” This was another important issue to the community. They were a private group and this place was anything but private. Yes, it was a place of wonder and fascinating things, it was also a place of fake lights and stall air. She personally missed their home. It raised questions of attachments and of comfort. The debate was a good one that she equally enjoyed speaking in as well as listening to.
She finished up her task as she already realized that she had lost track of the time. “Our wishes has gone to the Council and then we all shall decide as a community. See Daz, we act as one for the good of all. I hope I have been helpful in your quest. However I must go. It is my time to observe Alaya.”
“What is your opinion of her?”
She turned to look at him. She had thought he of all people would have known better. “I am not permitted to speak on such matters.”
“Is that to anyone, Master Murl, Citizen Murl, or just Daz?” he whispered, his tone conveying that his question was genuine, devoid of sarcasm.
She tilted her head to the side at the strange question, “It is the privacy of the one in question. Would you prefer that I spoke so freely and open about you and our conversations to others? Regardless, Master Osis has asked for a round the clock observation of her. I really must be going” she said as she gathered up her tool and walked them to a small pipe where she drew water to wash them. It was important to ensure that the tools were back in their place for the next person who needs them.
“There is one last thing, Knight Murl. I wish to reunite the Force crystal you gave me with my sister's hilt. I am in need of one.” he said. “May I have it?” he asked.
She finished cleaning up and dusted herself off. She always admired how he spoke. It was truly an art form to say one thing in such a way to have many meanings. There where times like now, where his meaning was concealed by his beautifully placed words. His desire to reunite the two on one hand and a statement of need on the other. A desire is not a need and a need is not a desire. “When we find that there are things we are in need of, they are put before us in a time we need them. You needed a crystal, I had one to give you. It was right for the moment and clearly was the Will of the Force. You say now that you are in need of a hilt. I do not have the hilt any more. Clearly the Will of the Force. The two were meant to be parted. Our wishes should never second guess the Will of the Force. Is there anything else?” A hard lesson that she herself was taught at a young age. 'Maybe he is testing me' she considered as she started to gather up her things.
“Yes. What has become of it?”
She was confident that if this was a test she would please him with her willingness to be detached from the item. She looked at him as he asked the question, “why does it matter? It is only a thing. Nothing more nothing less.” She never understood the drive for attachments and she doubt that she ever would.
“Some things are more important than others. These things are all I have left of my sister. Isn't that enough?” he asked, clearly worried about the relic's fate. “If it was not important, the Inner Light would never have have preserved it.” he added to his appeal.
She offered no expression in her tone or in her body motion as she turned to face him. This was dangerous and was getting worse by the statement. “Your sister was a great leader and teacher. Look around at us, we are her as much as you are her family. This action in which you desire must be what Master Visst warned me of. To become focused on a thing is to become attached. Attachments lead to the dark side. No thing has greater or lesser value than what we put on it. It is only your attachment to it that gives it its value.”
Her mind tried to remain calm as she was faced with the very thing which destroyed the Jedi and led to so many deaths and suffering. She searched her memory and found a place of calm and refocused her thoughts. 'Is this the steps of the dark side she questioned' She nodded, “it had a purpose in which was fulfilled. It no longer serves the purpose so it was no longer needed.”
Daz rose to his feet. “What purpose was that” he asked.
She checked the time once more and knew she was running late. She double checked the tools as she closed the box which held them “Clearly it was meant to hold the crystal till you came asking for it. I do not question the Force. In the moment what you sought, I had to offer, it was the right thing. So I followed its guidance. As you should. You are allowing your attachments to get in the way of your journey.”
“It is unwise to journey through hostile territory unarmed,” Daz countered.
She turned to look at him as his comment made its mark. She knew what he meant and finally realized what this conversation was really about. “If the Force summons me, regardless of rather I am armed or not, I will be summoned. This conversation is pointless. I do not have what you seek. You lack the ability to retrieve it. I have accepted these points, yet you still wish to argue them. Nothing will change from this conversation. I shall not feed your attachment needs.” She turned to walk away, “when you told me you were in need of a crystal, I listened to the Force and gave what I had. You should learn to do the same. Things are just that.....things...nothing more.” she continued to leave the area.
“An attachment to the idea of minimalism is still an attachment.” Daz said. “Is it leading you down a dark path?”
He was goading her for some reason and she felt it. She was not properly prepared to address the issues which are clouding his vision. She made a point to inform the Council of this dangerous conversation so that other members of the community will not be unaware of the risk. She didn't look back as she continued to walk away. She knew that it would not change anything to continued to the conversation with him. Like so many here in this place, they do not wish to learn. They do not wish to change. They only enjoy talking a good talk. There was simply nothing else to say. She left the gardens and headed off to her duties. It was one of the largest reasons why she personally wanted to leave this place. It was a place of fake things.
“Throughout the ages the Jedi Order emphasize the importance of being one with one's lightsaber, and still in its infancy the Inner Light condemns that tradition as an attachment while it grows ever closer to murderers and thieves swimming in palpable darkness, unaware of their own hypocrisy.” Daz thought, leaving the gardens to forge a new lightsaber.
She paused out of sight of Daz and lowered her head. He had been someone of pride and honor. The story's of him always seemed to fill her with a sense of ah. She dreamed of the day of living up to what it meant to be him. She knew it was wrong but she still looked up to him. And now, she had met her life long hero only a few months ago. He turned out to be only a mortal with flaws and weaknesses. She couldn't bring herself to blame him, but the pain of the disappointment was too real for her. She needed to speak with Master Scorylance after her duties. She lifted her head up and continued to walk down the corridors heading to where Alaya was staying.
Narrator's Note: The above scene played out over text with the Player. Yesterday, the player informed me that he wished to add more details for Daz thoughts. However he didn't get those edits to me in time for this post. I encourage the player to draft up a AAR as a after reflection of this scene. I also encourage the rest of the players to look for that coming AAR so that Daz's statements might get some more insight behind them.
0637 Standard Time
January 7th, 1937
Walking up behind, the elder Inner Light Master Osis spoke softly, “Master Visst, a moment of your time please.” Master Osis appeared to have both Twi'lek and Bothen DNA in his historical make. He was known for his ability to render aid with even the most difficult cases. He is a teacher and healer by heart and has respectfully refused to take a seat on the council. He was asked to help counsel the deeply troubled Alaya on her way from the dark side and back in to the light. For Master Visst, it had been a long night of cat and mouse with Daz. He knew that Daz had a busy schedule however, at times he felt as if both Daz and Swip were avoiding him. It didn't matter, as Master Visst knew that Daz enjoyed the forward gardens and meditated there each morning. He was on his way to the forward gardens and was going to wait for Daz there. If he was lucky, he would catch both Swip and Daz at the same time. Visst could feel the cold hand of the dark side moving about. Master Visst always felt like there was time to listen, this was never more true now.
After pausing to receive a nod from Master Visst, Master Osis calmly continued, “I saw that you were speaking with the young Alaya before our session yesterday. I sense troubles ahead for her and I know that you are as deeply concerned as I am. It would be helpful if you knew why she is where she is today. I have learned so much about her from our talks together. The single largest change in her came from the resent assault on their home, a place called the Fortress. During the assault on the Fortress, Alaya led a group of other Jedi on the tasked of securing the training areas and protect the young. Alaya said she faced off with a monster called, 'Makarov' and his minions. The battle was short lived and they nearly drove the invaders back till the invaders gained the upper hand. Alaya said that it was Makarov who decided to turn the tables during the battle. From her account, she said it was the most terrifying thing she ever experienced. In her own words 'it was like something reached inside me and forced me to my knees.' At first, I had thought I knew which power this Makarov used on her and the others. But she claimed that her heart pounded in her chest and she experienced great pain in her head. These factors have led me to think it might be something that I have no experience with. She and her defenders were all forced to their hands and knees and watch as the children were slaughtered. Alaya was forced to watch while Makarov personally murdered Zer'ra's own children. A failure that Alaya seems to hold to her self personally and will not let go of. This is where the story turns interesting.
The non-Force using defenders were also slaughter, Makarov said that there was little room or use for them in Lord Murl's Order. The Force users along with Alaya were offered a choice, join Lord Murl's Order or die. Even as her own former allies were decided to save their own lives, Alaya's sense of loyalty refused to allow her to betray Zer'ra. I asked her if she knew at the time if Zer'ra had fallen in battle or not. Alaya told me that it didn't matter. Loyalty as she explained it to me, didn't just stop at death. Loyalty was something that transcended death. She would not betray even the memory of Zer'ra. Alaya fought with all of her might against this power which held her in placed. Finally through a sher force of will did she over come the hold and made a break for it. It was something that she said seemed to surprise Makarov and the others among his minions. She found her self fighting her own former allies during her escape. She even killed her own roommate who had decided to join Lord Murl's Order. For Alaya, they were the enemy now and she would stop at nothing to protect her Order and Zer'ra.”
“I believe that the memory of that feeling of helplessness during her encounter with Makarov is fueling her fear and driving her self destructive behavior which I see in her now. This is in sharp contrast from when we started talking. When we first met and started to speak during our sessions, she showed a strong drive to seek redemption. When she came to us, she was nearly completely consumed by the darkside. Her anger, fear and hate were so out of balance and strong that it was all I could do in the beginning to calm her down. Bringing her back from that cliff was not an ease task. Together, though we made strong progress against the darkness. She has shown a great sense of honest effort to cast off the grip of the darkside. As instructed I watched for any signs that she was faking her attempts, or somehow deceiving me. I did not notice any of these falsehoods. She was doing so very well in her efforts. However, I have observed that just a few days ago she stopped trying all together. When I asked her to explain the change, she only asked me if I truly thought it was worth it anymore. That if anyone would really see any change in her. I explained to her that it is the change within her that is more important than what others see. I tried to explain this to her, but she seemed to become distant and seemed to tune me out. I finally did get her to speak again when I brought up Ms. Sheridan. Prior to this meeting, Ms. Sheridan had been a point of pride and promise for her. However, she finally revealed to me that she was banned for seeing Ms. Sheridan any more. A fact that I was unaware of and does help me better understand why she is feeling apathetic right now.”
“Regardless of how much of a blow that was, this was not the issue which was causing her to shut down. Alaya told me that she had met someone in her local hang out, a place called Otto's. This person seemed to have a very negative reaction with Alaya. She outwardly refused to name the person and I know she knows who it is. Alaya said that this person was no worse than she is and contented everyone else only saw Alaya as a criminal with a bounty over her head. The comment seemed to make Alaya outwardly upset, and I sensed a great deal of fear in Alaya. Something this person said to Alaya had gotten to her. Alaya was focused on the fact that somehow she was the one to be distrusted. I told Alaya that I did trust her, and based on what I saw in her to this point I stand by this. Sadly, I don't think she believed me. It took allot of effort from me to get what the conversation was about. When she did finally speak about it, she regretted speaking of it at all. To me, and before, to you. She laughed at this 'whole effort to saver her life' in which she said in sarcasm. She continued by claiming that the only reason why she was being kept around was to do our dirty work. I tried to push her to tell me what this person asked of her, but she refused. And finally said, that it didn't matter any more. That she should have just kept her mouth shut. I think that she feels that there are forces moving against her which she can not possible over come. Again, here is that fear of being helpless and it is driving her fear and actions now. However, fear from what, I do not know. When I asked again who this person was, she said it didn't matter that she was already guilty because this person said it was so. Alaya said it was only a matter of time now. That there was nothing anyone could do to protect her from this person or what was coming. She took a strange tone with me as she looked in to my eyes. I sense darkness boiling up in her as she said, 'the only way to stop them was through the old ways'.
“I am worried about her. We continued to talk and I managed to calm her down some. Something or more so, someone has her scared of something deeper than her self. I sense her fear is growing. Though I am sure that this fear is not for herself. It is her fear of what will happen to others. Maybe Zer'ra, but I am not sure as Alaya has started to block and shield her mind. She has shown so much promise but her guilt and fear because of that helplessness is governing her actions. I do not think that she will turn her back on the advances she has already made. I can sense her heart is consumed by a great conflict. Her trust in me is strong, and her loyalty to Zer'ra is unquestionable. However, something seems to be pushing her in to a corner. And in doing so, taking away that sense of control she needs to feel comfortable, to feel safe. I sense that she is being primed for a challenged that she is not yet ready to face. Her heart is still struggling over what she had to witness, what she had done as a criminal and the struggles of turning back from that life. Alaya is locked on this path that we have put before her solely because of her loyalty to Zer'ra. But the ways of the darkside might prove too tempting for her to ignore in this developing situation. Nor does she believe that she can overcome this situation without falling back on a lifetime of dark powers. For the time being, I believe that she will not do anything rash. I asked her to go meditate on the recent events and have asked her permission if someone 'watches her back' while she does so. This will continued to give her that sense of control that she needs. While at the same time, give us fair warning if she slips more. Currently, I am told by Knight Murl that she is sleeping off a rather heavy night of drinking in her favorite hang out, Otto's. I do not understand why she feels safer there than in her own quarters.”
He concluded his statement and calmly waited as Visst absorbed all that was said. Master Visst had listened carefully to Master Osis, There was so much going on that Master Visst had almost forgotten about the struggles that the refugees were facing. He didn't like the idea of calling them Jedi, as to its name they were not Jedi. He did feel their pains and understood this struggle but something was nagging him about the whole situation. Something he was missing, but it would have to wait. For he too felt the crisis facing Alaya and knew that she was not ready for it. “Tell me Master Osis, when you two talked about Ms. Sheridan did Alaya mention why she was so important to her family history” he asked hoping to gain deeper insight in to the young darksider. Plus he wanted to know what Alaya knew of Ms. Sheridan.
Master Osis nodded, “the day after Ms. Sheridan was brought aboard, Alaya saw her and recognized the family resemblance between Ms. Sharadon and a dark Sith Lord her family had sworn to serve a long time ago. Alaya does not feel this loyalty towards Ms. Sheridan however she does see this as a sign. Or at least she did. Alaya had said that she demanded a duel with the woman to test Ms. Sheridan. Alaya unleashed everything she could to force Ms. Sheridan to call upon the dark side to win the duel. However, because Ms. Sheridan remained true to her, Path of Light, as Alaya put it, it seemed to reassure Alaya that she too could achieve this path also. Before it seemed so hard for Alaya to let go her hatred and fear. This filled her with a sense of hope. I warned her that this kind of hope was fleeting and at one point would vanish. It is the hope that we offer ourselves which is the lasting hope that we need. The few sessions after that duel, she seemed more determined to succeed along this path. As far as loyalties go, Ayala holds some kind of deeper loyalty to Zer'ra. I think that this loyalty is what binds the two together after what they have been through. More so now due to what happened at the Fortress.”
Once more Master Visst took note of what was being said and dug deeper. Each piece of information would help him navigate this potential crisis. “Can you tell me about the loyalty that Alaya holds towards Zer'ra?”
“Unlike Zer'ra, who was born a slave and rose within the ranks of the Jedi by force of will, hard training and superior skill. Alaya was born in to the Order as a Jedi from birth. Her family had been loyal to the Order and its insane leadership since the days the Sith attempted to gain control of the former Republic. When that failed and the Sith armies retreated back to the Outer Rim, her family remained and served the Jedi solely. Alaya was trained from birth to be what she is today, a cold blooded criminal, killer and slaver. When Alaya was twelve, she took part in her first raid which was led by her father. By the time she was seventeen, she was placed in charge of her own raiding party. During this time of Alaya's life, she raided colonies and worlds belonging primarily to the Free Worlds Council. As you know Master Visst, she is wanted on several dozen worlds for numerous crimes. Sometime after she started to command her own slaver group, Alaya's mother was captured by the Free Worlds Council and found guilty of slavery, and other crimes. Alaya's mother was sentenced to life in prison without the chance for parole. Shortly there after her father vanished from Alaya's story. It is strange, something that Alaya refuses to talk about. It is just in one section he is there, and the next he is gone. This time within her life is extremely painful for her. I think his departure from her life is the source of this pain and there is much more to this that she is hiding. It is a great source of suffering within her heart. Something close to her happened and I feel that he was the cause of it. Still, Alaya refuses to speak about this. On a lighter side, it is at this point in Alaya's life that Zer'ra takes notice of the young Jedi now just over twenty. Zer'ra takes Alaya under her wing and strangely Alaya said that Zer'ra protected her from their leader. I am not sure what Alaya did that deserved protecting or why such a low ranking member would attract this kind of attention from both Zer'ra or the Grand Master of their Order. Zer'ra took Alaya under her wing and continued her education in the way of be coming a dark jedi and later a Sith.” Master Osis explained. The story of Alaya was one of keen interest to him as he saw it as a cautionary tail for future youglings. He continued to answer Master Visst's question.
“Have you noticed the bag Alaya carries with her? She never let's it out of her sight. During one of our first sessions I reached for the bag so to hand it to her. I could see in her eyes the level of conflict that she went through. I believe that she would have struck out at me had this be under any other situation. Alaya is extremely attached to what ever is within the bag. The importances is clearly seen in how she guards the bag at all costs. I have already advised both the security details and the rest of the Inner Light to resist reaching for Alaya's bag. I do not want to see all that Alaya worked so hard for washed away by a foolish misunderstanding. I sense nothing dangerous from the bag or anything that is linked to her criminal background. What I sense within it, is something very personal to her. Alaya has only trusted Zer'ra enough to possess the bag. We have not be able to reach deeper in to this part of Alaya's story but it was during a time when Alaya had no choice and allowed Zer'ra to have the bag till she could reclaim it at a later time. I believe that whatever is inside the bag, it is a link between Alaya and her past. It is, after all, the memories and the emotions attached to them that can be the hardest attachment for us to break. Also, there was something else I noticed among Alaya's possessions. Her lightsabers hand belonged to her mother and she had to actually steal them back from the Free Worlds Council after her mother was imprisoned. They are finally crafted with the family's crest on each of them. She takes great pride in them and cares for them with equal respect. It is a focus of who she is and what her family stands for. It is a symbol of that loyalty which binds her to Zer'ra. While they are dear to her, she allowed me to hold them. And to put it in to prospective, I am still not allowed to even reach for her bag. Did you also notice that there are no cables attached to her lightsabers?”
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