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(2.11) Letters
Letters
Republic Holonet Communications
Ubaah, my dear friend, normally I would hope that my letters find my friends in good health and pleasant. In this case I hope this letter simply finds you. I can not believe that it has been just over a week since your mother/my dear friend was murdered. I watched the Republic News all week and hear the horrible things that have been said about Daz and your other friends. I simply can not believe that these accusations are true. I can't believe that the events of last week are true. There have been mornings when I woke up hoping that when I look out the window of my apartment I will see it was all just some horrible dream. The tears on my face can't match the pain in my heart when I see that large crater by the spaceport and I know that it was not a dream. So many people that died. How could this have happened.
Let me see where to begin. I guess I will start with my week. In the wake of the horrible events of that day, I was elected to represent our people in the Republic Senate and replace Darap'Rar. I some how feel so incredibly small to fill such a man's shoes. But I have been chosen to speak for our people in the Senate. Yes the Senate still meets, which is good for the Republic. I can not say where, as it is a secured location. Please know Ubaah that the Republic has survived these attacks. Not as I remember it sadly. When the attacks were over, there came such a call for war against the terrorists and their supporters. I set silently and watched as so many good and noble people walked out of the Senate as the votes for war were counted. It was my first official vote as Senator and I didn't know what to do. I could have voted no I suppose, but it was such a land slide already my single vote would not have mattered. There were so many passionate speakers calling for war. Their voices carried so high and filled everyone with such emotions. I was swapped up in the moment. Oh god Ubaah, I voted that we go to war with all of them. So many after the votes were counted, patted me on the back and told me how I did such a good thing. I couldn't help but think of how horrible I felt at the time of voting. Something just seemed so wrong with it all. Like I had betrayed my own heart. Your mother loved our people but she would have never wanted this for them. I just know she and Darap'Rar would have never wanted war. I cried that night, alone in my bed I cried.
Later that day I found out that I would hold a seat on the Jedi Oversight Committee. I got to meet so many of my colleagues through out the day. So many had such ideas of what they wanted to get passed through the Senate and so many wanted to be my friend. They all saw me as a freshman and so offered their wisdom or advice as to who to trust and not to trust. The Vote still set so heavy in my mind. I slipped out early and returned alone to my little apartment. I know I had duties but I just really wanted to be alone for the rest of the day. I remember when I got home, I looked at myself in the mirror and started to cry. This is going to be such a hard chapter in my life. I hope I don't let anyone down.
The next morning, I got to see Ann. She is doing so much better. You should see her, most of the wounds have healed and she looks to beautiful. I can see that same spark of passion in her eyes. She asked about you and if you were returning to visit. I told her you had to go away on a Jedi Mission. She doesn't know yet of what everyone is saying about you and your friends. She has so much to deal with now, I didn't want to add to her burden. I have asked her to stay on as my personal aide. She said she would be honored to, but she had a condition. She demanded at least one dinner with you. I hope you are not upset my friend but I agreed to her terms. I really think she likes you. She said she knows this really nice place that she would like to go on her dinner with you. Said it has this really nice singer there. I told her I would pass the idea on to you. With those important details behind us I gave her some tasks she could tend to from her bed. Just between you and I, they were really nothing important but it seemed to make her happy to be doing something rather then laying in bed doing nothing.
I got a chance to meet Grand Master Quaad that day. He seems like a very nice man. He had assigned five Jedi to protect Ann while she recovers. We talked about my role on the JOC, and had ideas of how to make my job easier. I knew he has his own agenda but he was upfront and told me this. I had to respect his openness about it. He said he wanted to get the Republic out of Jedi affairs as much as he could. He did say that they had some questions to ask me regarding that fateful night. I had nothing to hide, so I refused his offer to have other members of the JOC there for the questions. We went to the Temple for the conversation. He asked me all kinds of questions about Daz and the rest of you. I told him what I knew. I know in my heart that you guys are not responsible for what happened. I don't care what the News says. I know you would never be with people that could do such a horrible thing. He asked me strange questions about a person I didn't know. A Fiolla Heartman. He asked me if we ever met before or if Daz or anyone ever talked about her. I didn't have anything to share about it. I don't think that the investigators believed me. But I know Grand Master Quaad knew I was telling the truth. He made a point to let me know that he believed me. Oh yeah, did you know that there is a law now that allows Jedi Investigators to detain someone if they are suspected of being a terrorists? I saw the most strangest of things. A Bothan female in shackles within the Jedi Temple. She was being held by the Jedi. I had a chance to talk to her but not long. She told me she was a programmer from one of the ships that were attacked. When I asked her why they were holding her. She told me that they just kept asking her questions about what she saw and heard.
I was puzzled by all of this however I was told I had to leave. I promised the Bothan that I would check up on her. She seemed relieved by the notion. That was when I checked up on that law. It was passed in to law a few months ago. I never heard anything about it over the news. But sure enough it was there in the books as a law. Later that day, I got to meet the man that would be come the new Supreme Chancellor. Senator Sate Quee from Anaxes. He talked with me for hours about how the Senate works and how if I ever needed anything to come to him and he will help me out. Its funny to think that everyone looks down at me because I am a freshman Senator but I can see our beloved Republic changing right before our eyes. I don't understand why no one else can see it. Senator Quee invited me to his celebration dinner the night after next. I agreed to attend.
The next day I spent with Ann in her hospital room. We talked about the young Doctor from the Defiance, that saved her life and how many others that died on that ship. She remembered the nurse that took such good care of her. Ubaah, so many good people died that morning. No one seems to want to see that. They only see the numbers, but the names and faces have all been forgotten. Or worse yet, used to sell this horrible war. I started to scrap book of pictures. I want to have a picture of each person that died and something good about them. I really think it is a good idea that we remember the good that was lost that morning. Ann asked us to start with a man that was visiting her the morning of the attack. His name was David Heartman, I think he was an Admiral. She said that he showed her such kindness and respect. I will write that down under his picture.
I heard the vote to elect Senator Quee went off just as everyone expected. I know, I should have been there. But something told me that Ann needed me more. She still wants to push for your mother's work. She wants to see an end to slavery. I think it is a good idea and would honor your mother and father. I had managed to sneak in some wine for her. I know that she loves to enjoy a glass or two. It was nice to just relax and enjoy the time with her. We talked all night about anything and about, well yes men. She asked why I was still single. I told her that my heart was filled with the love of our people. I couldn't hold any more for just one man. She laughed at my silliness. I didn't want to tell her that the man I loved died in the Senate building just a few days ago. I don't think I am completely over his loss. You are the only one now that knows my love for him. He was married, and I understood that. I knew he would never leave his wife and family. So I never told him about my feelings for him. He was such a proud and strong man. I would hide near a door just to listen to him speak. His words were always so beautiful. I remember the first time I ever laid eyes on him. But I am sure you don't want to hear about that.
The celebration for the new Chancellor was filled with parades and parties. I have never seen such a show of force before as the Marine Parade went through the Glitannai Esplanade. There must have been millions of them walking by. I thought that it would never end. As each unit marched past the Chancellor they turned and saluted him. I was told that the Republic Marines have sworn an oath to the Chancellor alone. Did you know that? It had been a tradition for centuries. I never knew that. The rest of the day was spent just attending social functions. When I finally got home that night, I was so tired. I hadn't noticed that my door had been forced. I walked in to my apartment to find that someone broke in to it and ransacked it. It really scared me to know that someone would do something like this. Grand Master Quaad insisted that I take up a bodyguard. He offered one of his Jedi to protect me. I accepted it. The man that was assigned to protect me is a Jedi Knight named, Castin Forma. I am told that he is a student of the Jedi Weapon Masters. Do you know him? He is a really quiet and kind man. But the way he just is there is really creepy.
The next morning I was summoned to the Chancellor's office. He was surprised about the violation of my apartment. He even offered to speed up my move from my little apartment to the high security homes of the Senators. I noticed there was a man in the room I had never seen before. He was shrouded in a cloak. I thought he was a Jedi but later I would learn that this would be a mistake. Still I looked at the Chancellor and rejected with a smile on my face. I explained to him that I speak on behaif of my people. Where my apartment is, is where most of my people reside on Coruscant. I could think of no better place to be then where they live. He didn't like my answer. I think he was thinking that I would accept his offer. I thought the offer to be silly myself.
That night, I attended the dinner in honor of Chancellor Quee. He actually invited me to sit at his table with his guests. Remember the man in the cloak? I was able to see him with out a cloak. His face is horrible scared and burned. He is a fierce looking man with this anger look in his eyes. His name is Raynar Heartman. I could not understand why he had not had his wounds healed already. I was told that it had something to do with his people and that they prided combat wounds. He wore armor at the dinner table and carried a large worn hammer like weapon with spikes on it. I couldn't help but wonder how he got it through the security check point. They made me leave my nail clipper and file behind. The table was full of laughter and stories of battles of old. Long forgotten wars were spoken about. I had nothing to add to the conversation so I choose to just listen.
The more I learned of this Raynar I had mixed feelings. On one hand, when he would look at me, his gaze would scare me. But then I would hear him speak and how he spoke of things like loyalty and honor. I was told that he is a Warlord or something like that of his people. I asked him if he was going to remain on Coruscant. He said no, that he and his unit were just paying respects on their way to some rim world planet. He and Chancellor Quee seemed to be very close friends and had shared many storied. Even one about a few Twi'lek slave girls. The laughter came to a stop when everyone realized my history as a slave girl myself. I waved off their looks with a smile. I told them that the past is what it is. I would not change it for anything. It led me to where I am tonight. I think Raynar had some sense of respect for me.
When I was preparing to leave, he offered to walk me home. Everyone at the table commented about how only a fool would assault a person under the guard of an Azgardian. Then the Chancellor added that only a person who wished death would assault a person under the guard of Warlord Raynar. I smiled and accepted his offer. So we walked home together. I was surprised that we talked about such things like religion. Did you know that Azgardians view homosexuality as a sin and could even ruin the career of a warrior? They have such a rich culture when it comes to art. He told me that every warrior is expected to be able to add something to the culture. He actually recited a poem for me. It was about a battle a long time ago. But it was lovely. I would really like to learn more about them.
The next morning I talked with Ann's Doctors. They say that at the end of the week she would be able to be released from the hospital. I am having her move in to my apartment with a full time nurse. I want to make sure that she is well taken care of. Plus I would like the company. The apartment seems so lonely now without your mother. I have more then enough room. Ann and I have been working on your mother's work for so long now. If you don't mind we want to name it after both her and your father. I think it would be a nice thing to do. Ann said she would really like it. I hope you don't mind.
I saw Raynar again at the Senate location. He told me that he was getting ready to leave. I wanted to ask him, because I knew that his people were looking for you guys. I asked them what would happen to you all if they caught you. He explained to me that there would have to be a trail to ensure your guilt. Then he told me about a story of a man who had been put to death unjustly and rose up from the dead to avenge those who wronged him. It was a long and scary story. But I guess the bottom line was that they have to ensure the guilt of people before they are punished. I don't know if it will be a good thing or not. But at least he answered my question. He than invited me to visit his homeworld. He gave me a dagger from his belt and said to give it to any Azgard and they would know what to do. I felt so foolish I had nothing to offer him. He laughed and said listening to me speak was more then enough. I wasn't sure what he meant by that.
I went back to the temple to check up on the Bothan. I talked with Master Quaad and he agreed to let me speak with her. I found out that her name is Kothtri Fey'bek. I asked her why she went by the human name Natalie, She said she was named after a fruit and didn't like it. My own name meaning Beast of Burden, I guess I can really get her meaning. She said that they had been holding her since the day of the attacks. From what I could gather from talking to her, the Jedi wanted to know what happened right before the ship blew up. I thought Jedi could see all things? I watched her questioning as a member of the JOC. It was horrible. Three Jedi would wave their hands and say things like you want to tell us what you know about this or that.
She would tell them what she knows and they would just keep saying it over and over. She would then break down and tears. I don't know if she is hiding something or if she just doesn't know what they are looking for. I felt so bad for her. But they were doing their jobs. They had reasons to believe that she had the answers they were looking for. She was one of the last to leave the bridge of one of the ships. So for hours a day they would push her for answers. I asked Grand Master Quaad if this was really necessary. He assured me that it was. I am not sure I believe him about that. But he is the Grand Master of the Jedi. I guess I have to trust him.
Well it is the night before Ann moves in. It will be a pleasant change to have someone to talk to during the night. My Jedi protector is pleasant enough but he is not really the conversational type. I am meeting with some refugees tomorrow morning. I am so excited to hear about their journey from the Hutts to freedom. One day my friend, our people will be free. Raynar had said something about slavery. He said that “beyond contempt is the willing slaves, because they deserve their destiny.” I think I shall no longer be contempt with just settling. Our people will be free.
So in the end that was my week last week. Wow what a busy week. I hope that things look better for you and know that you are in my heart. Please be well my friend.
Yours,
Nabrina
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My Beloved Sister,
If you are reading this, then I have fallen in battle. It is the night of our birthday and I see how much of a wonderful person you have grown in to. As I set back and write this letter for you, my first thoughts are hopes that I met my fate with honor and pride. I hope that my death was filled with fire and emotions. To be proud and strong in death as much as I was in life.
But these thoughts give way to something more deeper, Sister. My thoughts now turn to you and how much I have always looked up to you. I have always been pushed to be better, stronger, smarter. Everyone had set such goals for me to reach. Being a warrior was never enough for our family's goals with me. To be the best warrior our people ever knew was what they wanted. I will never know if I archived that goal. But you on the other hand. You were allowed to be who and what you wanted to be. To have which friends you wanted and to speak your heart. Oh how I envied you.
Remember back at Uncles Estate when I protested returning to the Academy? I thought mother and father were going to have heart attacks right then and there. I sometimes hated that I had to return to the Academy while you and your friends got one more day or one more week. I remembered when you brought Daz home for the first time. Mother asked uncle what they were teaching you at the Temple. No one ever thought very highly of him. But I thought it was great. He was so funny and everyone hated him. So full of questions and wanting to know so much about everything. He and you were so alike. Remember Jacob? My friend from the Academy. He failed out and was removed from the Warrior cast. Uncle told me to never bring him home again.
Did you know that there were days I so much wanted to be you. To not be the favorite of the family. You were allowed to blossom as you wished. To follow the path you wanted. I have noticed that you desired to try to follow my warrior path. Please Sister, only do this if it is what you want. Let your heart be free from them and their insane demands and goals. Spread your wings and take to the sky Sister. Be free, be that freedom in life that I always looked up to you for.
There were times I wanted to teach you to be a better worrier. But I only realized that being with you so closely and with your friends has started to make me a better person. To take the time to learn and listen to the things around me. Yes, you taught me to be more aware of things. To you, my sister I thank you for this. Never forget that you helped me see things in a better light.
To Daz, I know we never see eye to eye. I know that sometimes you see such horrible things in me. But please know, what I see in you. I see that little boy laughing and playing with my Sister. But in your heart beats something much more. I know that you are destined for something great. Something much greater then ever before. Stay close to my Sister and my fellow Immortals. They will protect you and serve you well as you fulfill what ever the Force has called on you to do.
Visst, being in my life has become something that I can not deny any long. The impact you have made has been both drastic and rapid in change. Just this morning, I went to Temple for the first time in years. I talked with a Priest in depth about my soul and where I was going. I explained to him about you and the thoughts that you have caused to surface in me. I think you planted a seed that is now starting to grow. Thank you my friend.
Back to you my Sister. Now that I am not there to watch over you. Please be strong for them. You don't have to be strong like me. Be strong like you. Be who you are. Don't follow my path. Take your own. It would mean the world to me.
I will leave with a song I have been working on, for you. I want you to know that you are more then just a sister. You are a friend. The kind that I could always look up to and count on. You were always in my heart Sister.
Always even after death,
Fiolla Heartman
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Walking through the mist once more, Daz notices images of people about him. Each one showing a scene of a persons life. Each one seemed familiar but strange at the same time. He walked through the mist lost and worried about his way. Then he saw an image slowly taking form before him. Within moments he saw Lysire standing just within the mist.
She looked at him, “Why didn't you ever listen to me” she questioned.
Daz looked down then snapped his head up, “I know what this is about. I did listen to you. I listed to you each time you had something to say” he said with anger.
She shook her head, “No, you heard me, but you never listened to me. Why Daz?”
Anger filled his heart as he looked at her, “I did listen to you. Each time, I listened. There were things that I knew better. Like with Biggs. I know he was bad for you” he said knowing that she could not deny this.
She looked down in sadness, “If you knew he was bad then why let me stay with him?”
floored by the question, he answered with the truth, “I thought it was where you wanted to be.”
She raised her head and looked at him once more, “So you thought you knew better then us. So that was the reason why you did not listen to us?”
It was a trick and he walked in to it, “Thats not fair! You never said you didn't want to be with them. What was I to think?”
She stepped back in to the mist, “Trust in us, not think. Listen to us, not hear.” she said softly then added, “Face your fears and guilt Daz, or you will be lost to us in the mist. Lost forever!”
Daz rushed forward not wanting the image to disappear. “No wait, I have questions. What do you mean fear! I have no fears. Guilt? I have done nothing wrong. Why should I feel guilt!? I did what I had to do to save lives! WAIT!!!!” he yelled through the mist only to find nothing but more mist.
Daz set up in his bed with a sigh, he shook his head slowly. “I just want people to know that I didn't do anything evil or wrong. I acted on what I knew and had no choice.” he said softly to the empty room. In his heart he felt the loss of lives. Their echoes sound in his mind. He just closed his eyes, “I didn't do anything wrong.” Slowly the echoes and feelings of them faded.
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