Doubt Kills More Dreams Than Failure Ever Will

[aipsylon]

(Set morning of the second.)

Gadeon had been in the temple over the first night. Meditation and thought over what he had seen, what he had sensed, what he had needed. Upon finishing he headed toward the Temple Gardens and called Jaden on the Comm. "Jaden, if you would please.  You said that you would like to talk to me and I believe this morning would provide an ample time, meet me at the gardens of the temple please. He turned toward the gardens and looked over them, his mind still deep in thought.

[Jaden_Starchaser]

Jaden was finishing getting ready for the day when he received the comm from Gadeon. "I'm on my way," he replied and set off for the gardens. He took the time to gather his thoughts on what he was going to say and hoped that the Xexto could offer insight and perhaps dispel the doubts that he has. He made it to the gardens and found Gadeon.

[aipsylon]

Gadeon was walking through the garden in a place visible from the entrance Jaden would most likely arrive at, waiting for him to come. When he did he turned and walked out to greet him. "Good morning, I am sorry that we did not have time to speak before the mission with Tarkin, but you had said that there was something you wanted to speak with me about?" He never wished to wait when there was no need, but also tried to be patient enough to let things come in their own time.

[Jaden_Starchaser]

"Good morning. Don't worry about it Gadeon there was a lot going on," he said with a smile before his face turned serious. "There are a couple of things that have been troubling me about certain members of our party and I feel you would be best to speak to about these things." He took a breath and then started, "I am troubled by Unna. I am troubled by her closeness to the chancellor as well as how she seems to be defending and willing to go along with what Graff's posse asks of her."

[aipsylon]

Gadeon nodded, "I have noticed these things, but what about them specifically troubles you?" He had thought about those things as well, though she seemed rather indecisive about members of his posse. He wanted to know Jaden's take on it as well, the more sides he saw things from the more able he may be to speak to Unna. He doubted she would listen to anything he said, but he doubted many things, and there was little cost in failure. He would try.

[Jaden_Starchaser]

"Well for starters Ashla informed me of the shared past between you, her, Auro, and Unna and then Auro elaborated how the chancellor at the time turned the Republic into his personal Empire and wiped the Jedi out. If it was me I would be very weary of the chancellor or any politician because of that, yet she is so very trusting and goes along with what the chancellor asks. This past mission with Tarkin being the main example. Then there is that comment that she made that Jenna asked her to retrieve holocrons from Graff for her. That would have heavily jeopardized our mission and I do not believe that we would have been able to escape without casualties. I question why she was willing to help them when they brand her a murderer and call for her arrest on top of murdering her friend. The person she helped raise," Jaden said while shaking his head. "The only thing that makes sense is that she is being deceived and manipulated by both sides."

[aipsylon]

Gadeon listened, many of the same thoughts that he had had came from Jaden's mouth. "I understand, there was something I had been wanting to talk with you about as well. I have sensed a great deal of emotion from you, much of it those that most often lead to a dark path. Have you someone you are speaking to about it?" Gadeon had lead them through near a flowing stream through the temple garden, careful to keep his voice down so it would not carry. the open area one he enjoyed haveing such conversations, far less sterile than a sealed office.

[Jaden_Starchaser]

Jaden spoke truthfully to Gadeon and recounted his troubles, "I've been taking counseling sessions on the Vengeance and having spoken to members of our party about the feelings of guilt I've been having due to various deaths that I've felt responsible for. I realize that by me feeling the way I do it leaves me more open to being emotionally compromised and it could be exploited by our enemy. Tarkin showed that to me and Ashla addressed it to me. However I am fighting that darkness with every inch of my will and have been since Olivan during my fight with Duke Aladan Saar when the dark side first tried to call to me."

[aipsylon]

"I am not worried about the enemy Jaden, Enemies can be dealt with, it is you that I am concerned for. The anger you hold can be a temptation that you yourself will wield against you. When you are angry it is easy to hate, you must guard against this to avoid the darkness. I myself have had need to struggle, against this and found only peaceful meditation has worked to calm it, should you find another way, please share it with me. It is important though that you do not see yourself as a liability."

[Jaden_Starchaser]

Jaden nodded at the truth of Gadeon's words. "Truthfully meditation only offers a temporary reprieve and that may be due to the fact I have two conflicting views of how to mediate. Of course they taught us how in the Academy, but when I was padawan to Pru Hul he told me the first day to forget everything the Academy taught and that he would rebuild me as "a loyal servant of the Jedi and the Republic". When it came to mediation he told me that peaceful mediation was a dream of sheep. That the warrior meditates to sharpen themselves like a well maintained blade. I now know his teachings are flawed, but I don't know how to fix them in myself. Will you help me Gadeon?"