Being a leader

[a magical taco]

Richard stood up, book in hand, and cursed aloud. This had been the fifth spot he had moved to since he had started reading this morning but for the life of him he could not concentrate. He must have read the same page of this book a dozen times now and still had no idea what it said. He paced around the room, his mind a flurry of thoughts and emotions and doubt. 'The leader, what the hell was everyone thinking making him the leader'. It had only been a couple of days since the decision but yesterday had been the first time that it had mattered. The first time everyone looked to him and asked, "What now?". He hasn't asked for this responsibility, didn't really want it. He had even made some half assed attempt to weasel his way out of it yesterday when Simon refused to listen to his "order" but no one seemed to listen to that either.

He finally realized this position he was in wasn't going to change anytime soon. 'Fine, if they want me to be leader then fuck it, why not. This is just as good a chance to test yourself as any'. He said the words to encourage himself, to make himself believe that he could succeed here, in this role, in such unfamiliar territory. He finally put his book down and started to think about what he should do next. His first realization, that his reading was going to take a back seat to his leadership role made his flinch. 'No, that's not true', he thought, 'I just wouldn't be reading for fun anymore' the cabal still needed to know who was working against them and that would mean research and research meant reading.

He considered his options for a moment, thinking about what he could do now to improve his position and that of the cabal. For the time being he settled on learning more about his team's abilities. if he was going to lead the cabal then he needed to know in more detail what everyone was capable of. Everyone has strength and weaknesses and he needed an intimate knowledge of both. He figured since he already knew enough about his brother he could skip him for now so Richard went off searching for Rebecca and Kira.

As he searched for the girls his mind continued to race about everything that could be or needed to be done. Defenses, weapons, enchantment, and training. He suddenly felt like they were sitting ducks out here, no longer safe here at the sanctum. There was so much that needed to be done.

[Akirapryde]

When Richard found Rebecca in the Taff room. She was kneeling before the Taff with her eyes closed. Her head was bowed down facing her hands. They were cupped holding her cross. The cross was a simple wooden cross with a leather cord that acted as a necklace. She wore a simple black knee length skirt, T-Shirt with a simple shawl pulled over her shoulders concealing her arms and upper torso. It was in fact the first time anyone had seen her in such an informal outfit. Her feet were bare and covered with dirt from where she walked from her room down to the Taff room. If that wasn’t enough, she looked as if she hadn’t slept all night.

It took while to locate her. In fact, this was the first anyone had seen of her. Instead of going out for her regular run by herself and then with Richard, she vanished. For Rebecca, there was just too much in her mind to deal with the stress of others this morning. The tower of bone, then the night terrors had left her in a pool of her own sweat. When she went to the bathroom, her mind had another surprise in store her. On her left arm, she had been burned as if her night terror was real. But it wasn’t, ‘was it?’ Rebecca wondered. For once in her life she wasn’t sure about anything anymore. She was starting to learn that there was much more going on.

The Taff Room offered her just what she was looking for, Solitude. She couldn’t handle anyone’s drama right now. She just needed peace and time to sort things out in her mind. Her emotions were running ramped through her. She couldn’t focus on what was going through her mind. She wondered what was in store for her. She wanted to know what her dream meant. She wanted to know why she saw that Tower of Bones. There were so many unanswered questions running through her mind. Never before had she ever felt so alone. She missed Ryan and her family so much.

She could easily call her father and return home. All it took was just admitting that she was wrong in defying him about her tattoo. Admitting that he knew best for her. But the tattoo meant so much to her. And more importantly she wanted to try to stand on her own. Because she missed Ryan so much, going back was always a temptation to her. Just a simple phone call to Daddy, and they would be reunited. But she couldn’t betray the life and career that she and Kira had built together. If she ever wanted to offer Ryan the life that he deserved, she had to make this work. Her loyalty and love for her father never diminished but she had to prove something to herself. Her mind raced on so many different things that she couldn’t even focus on one thing.

Rebecca didn’t react when she heard Richard coming in to the room. Instead she only tried to focus on her breathing. Deep, slow breaths as she tried to keep her mind, nah, her anger under control. She didn’t really want to talk but he was their leader. Her upbringing taught her better than to disrespect their leader. Her eyes opened slowly as she heard his footsteps behind her. “Good Morning, Richard” she said as if there was nothing going on. “Can I help, Sir” she said with as much respect as she could muster despite her ramped emotions.

[a magical taco]

When Rebecca had neglected to wake Richard up for their morning run he hadn't really thought much of it. Everyone needs a day off from time to time, but seeing her now he realized it wasn't quite as simple as that. Rebecca usually woke up near the same time as Simon. she has always been dressed and ready to go by the time she woke him up in the morning, but now she was walking around the house still wearing her sleeping clothes, something Richard had never seen her do before. Even before she spoke to him he knew there was an issue and hearing her voice only confirmed that wasn't good. Something was off.

He had come down here to speak with her for a reason, he needed to know more about her abilities, but it dawned on him that a good leader was capable of more than just leading his team in combat. He needed to know what was going on, needed to know if her distress would be a hindrance to cabal, he also needed to know if he could help. He wanted to cast a spell, to probe her mind and to see for himself what was wrong. He did not. He knew that doing so would only make matters worse. He would have to speak with her, use dialogue to understand the situation, it was such a waste of time. Words were just so unrefined he was able to communicate in ways so much more efficient than speaking yet doing so would surely cause a fight. Richard cleared his throat, "are you alright?" he asked pouring in as much empathy as he could muster.

[Akirapryde]

She heard his words clearly and deep in her mind she had been pondering that very question. 'Is something wrong with me' she asked herself as a tear rolled down her cheek. What troubled her the most, was that she didn't know that answer. 'Maybe that into its self is my answer,' she thought.

She thought for a moment if she truly wanted to even share what was going on in her mind. 'Could he be trusted to know?' Her thoughts raced through her mind, 'he is our leader now.' The debate raged on in her mind. This debate was waged longer than she wanted to admit. But in the end, one simple truth rang through. For better or worse, Richard was her leader. And it was always Order before Family. A simple lesson of Order over self. She let out a deep sigh signaling the end of the debate as well as her surrender to this truth.

With a heavy heart she offered up her report, “As you had mocked, my whole life I had always been the good girl. Taught and raised to be that prefect girl. I was actually taught to walk with a book” she paused, and smiled, “well at first. Then two, then three, on my head. Prefect pasture, prefect speech and tone. Everything had to be prefect. I thought that maybe I could be the ‘bad girl.’ But we both know how that turned out for me. It wasn’t who I am.” She laughed a bit, “My first beer was there at that duel. I hated the taste of it.”

She wasn’t comfortable sharing this much and she was sure he could tell. But she had to make him understand this for him to understand the importance of what she was about to say. “So yes, your mocking of me was correct. That is who I am. Daddy’s Prefect Little Girl. A picture prefect Girl who grew in to a woman. I am still supposed to be that Prefect Woman.” She paused once more then nodded to herself. “Order of Mind brings Order of one’s life. This was the very first lesson I was taught as a girl.”

She shook her head, “To answer your question. No. I am not okay. I don’t feel that control that I once had. This is starting to manifest its self in my dreams. I had a nightmare. No, more than just a nightmare. It was as if I was there. And I left myself a calling card to prove it.” She said as she pulled the shawl up and showed the second degree burn on her arm. It wasn’t a lethal wound but still a wound nonetheless. “I am not sure how far this will go. First the tower of bones and now that horrible dream.” She turned to Richard with tears in her eyes, “I am scared” she said with a tremble in her voice.

[a magical taco]

She was crying, God Damn it, why did she have to be crying. He took a moment to analyse the situation, using one mind to consider the emotional aspect of the what was happening and the other to think about it logically. It wasn't that he had never comforted a crying woman before but in the past he had usually been the cause or at least trying to sleep with her. Now he was simply acting as a friend, it was uncomfortable for him and it strained his empathy more than he cared to admit, not that anyone would be able to tell. He walked forward and put his hand on her shoulder, "I'm sorry". The he let silence fill the room, let the physical connection take effect.

"What can I do? He asked. "if you let me I think I can help in any number of ways. I could listen if you want to talk, I could take a look at what you saw for myself so that I could really understand what you dreamt, but if it's control you seek we could enter into your dream together and beat it into submission." He let his words hang in the air. He decided to give her the options and let her decide, he knew that if he made a decision now she would follow it even if it was not what she wanted. That could prove counterproductive.

[Akirapryde]

Rebecca looked at his hand resting on her shoulder. The two of them had been odds with each other over the stupidest of things. And while they had been at odds over those things, one thing had always remained consistent. He had been there when he needed her. He had been there to pursue those who tampered with her truck. Even though she caused the endeavor to end, he had been willing to go the distance for her. Then came Kira and meatball. While his actions were ill-conceived, she couldn’t deny that there was a sense of noble selflessness to them. She turned her head back towards her cross and sighed heavily as she looked at it.

“I don’t know what to do” she finally said after a long silence. “We both saw the Tower. So it must be real. If we both saw my dream, would that make it real as well” she said with genuine fear in her voice. “In my dream I saw you, Simon and Kira die” she said softly. “You were consumed by that monstrous tornado spirit thing. What did they call it? The Destroyer Spirit or something.” She blinked softly as she just fell silent for a moment. “Then there is a place called Rebel Meadows where I saw a strange army before me. It was led by a blind warrior” She tried to explain. “That Bone Tower was part of my dream…..” she was going to continue but fear caused her to stop. It wasn’t fear of the dream but more fear of saying more about Ryan.

She closed her eyes as she continued, “I saw those names on the bones. What I can’t explain is how I saw them when the tower was so far away. Nor can I explain how I knew the names, or how I could see their faces in the dust and wind around me.”

She fell silent once more as she gripped her cross and drew in a deep breath. “I am not the one that has dreams. That is Kira. This was just a nightmare. It can’t be real.” Once more there was that tremble in her voice as she spoke. She wanted to believe what she just said, but fear gripped her heart.

[a magical taco]

Richard removed his hand from her shoulder and walked toward the wall of the chamber and sat down.He hated to sit on the ground especially in a suit but his instincts told him he should. He crossed his arms over his knees and took a deep breathe letting it out slowly. He thought about what he wanted to say, thought about how scared she was. The pain she was expressing to him.

He found it a little ridiculous. Just yesterday he had managed to open a portal all the way to France, into an enemy's sanctum and Rebecca had shot a man in the back of the head. She had gone up against an mana sucking stingrays. Stood toe to toe with a gollum, well the second time she spent most of it on her back. He smiled.

"You're a complete lune, you know that?" Before she could protest Richard continued. "I've seen you walk into fire while staring down a conscious tornado. You got absolutely bitch slapped by a giant sea creature and you didn't get flustered until I acted like a horny teenager. You take a bolt from Solaire and you're still walking around like Zina Warrior Fucking Princess. But a tower and a dream bring you to your knees? You know if you ever find your balance you are going to be one scary chick."

[Akirapryde]

Rebecca didn’t look up as he reduced her life down to just a few examples of mixed bravery and foolishness. She listened without speaking to her defense or in support of his words. He was right. Her mind wasn’t completely in balance and because of that, she had had placed those around her in harm’s way. She drew in another breath as she covered the burn on her arm with her shawl. Her eyes returned to the simple little cross in her hands. She didn’t know what to say. She wasn’t prepare for any of this.

“I can’t say” she said softly once he was finished. “Why I am out of balance,” she confessed. She spoke from her heart searching for the right words. “It was more than just a tower. Somehow it’s connected to me. Somehow I am connected to it. But I don’t know how. I don’t even know what it is. It was in my dream. It was where I saw myself. Where I fought myself. It was where I gave myself this” she said motioning towards her wound.

“I feel as if I don’t know what I am doing or where I am going. As if all direction in my life has been ripped away from me.” Once more she closed her eyes, “I was sure what I was doing before that duel. But now, I am not so sure. I feel….” She paused a moment before uttering the simple word, “lost.”

[a magical taco]

"Rebecca, do you know how old I am? 21. I am 21 years old and some how I just became the leader of a cabal of strangers put together by a legendary member of the silver ladder who mysteriously disappeared God only knows how many years ago. A cabal that was given a secret prison for the worst creatures I've ever heard of, as a sanctum. Oh and did I mention that we were just attacked my another cabal who at the very minimum has connection in France, if not a full blown base of operations there. And the best part, we just killed one of their leaders." he stopped suddenly. Then he did something he didn't expect. He started to laugh. A wild laughter that can clean the soul. He tried to speak but only laughed harder. He actually had to cast a spell to stop. "Vampires" he broke into laughter again but this time was much quicker to regain his composure. "fucking vampires." He sighed. He leaned back against the wall, his head pressed against the stone. "Welcome to the club for the lost, we meet on tuesdays".

[Akirapryde]

Rebecca joined Richard in his laughter as she listened to the current situation revolving around their Cabal. She couldn't deny that what he was saying was pretty comical. She thought of how impossible the entire situation really was. Here she was, a rich girl from one of the most influential families in the State of Texas siting and talking with a self-absorb arrogant man whore. She laughed at her own assessment of the situation. She moved on her knees and looked at Richard laughing nearly uncontrollably. She couldn’t deny it.

It wasn’t that she saw him like anymore. ‘Well he is still pretty arrogant for his age’ she thought with a smile. But she knew all too well that in that chest beat the heart of a good man. She also knew how incredible hard it was for her to relate to Richard. The assumption that it was just as hard for him to relate to her was logical. The jokes and laughs helped push out a lot of those painful emotions. Rebecca got up from her place before the Tass and walked over to where he was sitting. As she made the short journey her smile shined through. "What about Milk and Cookies?" Rebecca said softly as she set down next to him.

The man she once had incredibly mixed emotions over had been seriously misguided by her. He was selfless in his actions in dealing with issues like Kira’s fake kidnapping. He was true to his word about giving up pot. However on the other side of that coin, she wondered and hoped that she had at some degree lived up to his expectations of her. She knew that she angered him during their worst patches of rough times. But her hopes were that those times were behind them. His smile towards her was almost reassuring for her. Watching her sit down next to him, Richard replied with, "I will bring the plastic cups." (OOC: Reply by Player’s Permission)

Rebecca leaned her head up against the wall looking in to the Tass. "You are a lot like my brothers. Just like they are, you are so gifted in all that you do. For me it’s the opponent, everything I have accomplished I had to struggle for. No matter how hard it was, I never gave up. I would just push myself harder till I accomplished it.” She paused while looking at the Tass. She figured that if they were to be Cabal members, they should also be friends.

She wanted to tell him what was bothering her, but she had to trust him first. ‘Maybe if I let him in a bit, he will do the same,’ she thought as she hoped for the best. ‘This way we could build trust with each other.’ She continued speaking, “It wasn't easy for me. Nothing growing up in my family was ever easy. My father always insisted the very best from each of us. He encourage us to compete with each other over everything. He would say that this helps build stronger individuals. Perfection was easy for my brothers but not for me. I had to work for each and every victory I had.”

She paused and laughed a bit. “I used to play soccer when I was a kid and teenage. In fact, all my siblings played. A love for soccer was one of few things we all had in common. When it was my turn to join a team, my father wanted me on the best team in the state. It was just like with my brothers. But the only team that fit the bill was the Bandits, a private club team," She said softly.

"The Bandits were out of Dallas, three hours away from where I lived. It wasn't so bad cause I was home schooled. On days I had practice, my teacher just came with me to Dallas. We used to go over my lessons on the way there and I would do my homework on the way back. It was taxing on me, but I really wanted to play on the Bandits." She paused for a moment as her smile lessened. "I wasn't accepted at first. ‘I was too young,’ they would say. ‘I didn't have what it took,’ they would say. My favorite was, ‘my father couldn't buy me talent.’ Oh how they didn’t accept me in the beginning.”

She didn’t take her eyes off the Tass as she continued to speak, “I didn’t care about what they said.” Rebecca turned her head and looked at him as she spoke, "Getting on the team wasn’t easy. But in the end, I found that it was the easiest part of it. While I had worked so hard to earn a place on the Bandits. I had to work even harder to prove I belonged there. I practiced seven days a week while other girls my age were having sleep overs and talking about” she paused a moment, “well whatever girls talked about at that age. My father used to watch me practice. While I wanted to earn their respect, it made me feel ten feet tale to know that he was proud of me.”

She turned her gaze back to the Tass as she continued, "When the season officially started, they didn't play me at first. My father would come to the games only to watch me sit on the bench. I hated it. I could see in his eyes that he wasn’t proud of me sitting on the bench. But I would have my chance to prove to everyone I belonged. Two untimely injuries gave me a chance to play. They put me in the mid-field." She gave off a smile that reflected her heart in that moment. "You should have seen it, Richard. They were calling me the Little Lion. I was fierce and bold. I didn’t let those larger kids push me around. I used my smaller size against them. I wouldn't let anything get past me." Her smile grew as she spoke, “Oh and how my father was so proud of me. I bet I glowed out there on that field.”

But as her story continued, her smile faded as she continued, "we went up to State Finals that year. We were playing the Shadow Foxes. My brother Jason was their captain. You would have loved it Richard, it was epic," she said with a smile. "Both teams were more than worthy of being in the finals that year. I couldn't have imagine a pair of teams that were better match. Like you, Jason was gifted at everything he does. I knew how much he wanted to win his first championship but this was my chance as well.

"During the game I was told to play defender with another girl. We were a good team together and worked hard at keeping our goal safe. My brother was an attacker and the competition between us was fierce. I did everything to stop each of his attacks. He only got one shot past my partner after they tripled teamed us. I wouldn’t let his trick work again. Oh how my brother was mad each time I blocked his shots. My partner and I communicated like one mind. It was masterful. But Jason wasn’t happy that we shut him down like that.”

"Our own attackers however, they weren't able to get a score past the Shadow’s defenses. Near the middle of the second half, our team captain got hurt during an attack. It was our second injury of the game. Some questioned intensity of the game. But for us, the players, we had to finish it. How we wanted to win. God how much I wanted to win. My father was watching the game from my side of the field. He choose to sit behind me. Coach told me to change positions and led the charge as Center Striker."

Her smile grew once more, “they were calling out my nickname. ‘Little Lion’ they chanted as I led our team. Within five minutes of my move, I was able to score our first point. The crowds were on their feet with excitement. I had never felt so alive before. The way I fly through the air and executed a near flawless scissor kick. I remember landing on my back and everyone was yelling so loud and jumping up and down. But I just saw my father standing up and looking at me with a smile on his face. I didn’t care that we tied the game. He was proud of me.”

Her smile faded once more, "my brother moved his position back to defender after my score. We were running out of time and I had an idea that I knew would work. With three minutes left, we could win the game. It was complex but I knew my brother well. I told my teammates of the plan and they executed it perfectly. We were passing the ball and I knew he would expect me to make the goal and I counted on that. As he was charging me, I passed the ball to my partner, but he didn’t change his course for the ball. Instead he fouled me. He kicked my cafe ripping open a nasty cut. The move was underhanded and I should have expected it. Their defenders broke our attack, but the foul got us a penalty kick.”

"I couldn’t stand to take the kick, so one of my teammates did. I had to sit there and watch the game from the bench. Despite the game going in to over time and then a shot off, my father never stood back up. I looked back many times to see him no longer watching me. Instead he was watching Jason. I felt so horrible I had let him down. I should have seen the foul coming. Jason got his championship and on the trip home he got the praise for a hard fought victory. I hated it when he suggested that if my father wanted to sit in the winning section, he should have set in the Shadow’s bleachers. My father’s reply hurt more than the defeat. He just said, perhaps.”

Her smile returned as she finished, “The next championship would belong to the Bandits and me. We had beaten my brother and his team three to nothing. The Bandits would go nearly undefeated for the next three years. Each game, I made sure my father would not find a need to sit down. I even heard his voice cheering on his ‘Little Lion.’ Once more, I felt as if I could do anything.” She turned to face him, “Tell me about you and your childhood please.”