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Into Darkness 2/6/2022
Durro Thel-Tanis — 02/06/2022
12 hours until planetfall. Durro is resting in his quarters, exhausted from a long nine hours navigating the Chaos. A sense of disquiet grows inside him, a shiver escaping him as if a cold breeze had passed over him. The Force whispers almost franticly; a warning? A threat? Is there a difference? The whispers are soft but foreboding, calm and cold. Unable to sleep, he sits up and sighs. What is bothering him? What is the Force trying to warn him about? A realization crosses his face, and he glances at the pair of books on his bedside table; the Dathomirian Language guide, its pages well-rummaged, and the romance novel with the Nightsister and Hero on the cover, a thin bookmark near the back cover.
As if prompted by the book, he swings himself out of bed, and soon finds himself in front of Tesara's quarters, ringing the chime for the door.
@Tesara Anerin
Tesara Anerin — 02/06/2022
Tesara hears the door, looks at the clock in surprise and answers. It is Durro. "What is it?" She asks, worried. "Is something wrong?"
Durro Thel-Tanis — 02/06/2022
"Not yet." He says wearily. "Mind if I come in?"
@Tesara Anerin
Tesara Anerin — 02/06/2022
"Of course!" She steps back to allow him into her tiny room. When he enters, she closes the door behind him. Durro does not often look tired or unnerved and he looks both to her. She sits on the floor and motions for him to join her.
Durro Thel-Tanis — 02/06/2022
Durro sits heavily on the floor across from her, bowing his head with his eyes closed. A long moment passes in which he could have fallen asleep, before he finally asks;
"Do you remember the Dark Cave on Lanus? Our Lanus?"
@Tesara Anerin
Tesara Anerin — 02/06/2022
She inhales slowly. "Yes." The memory is sharp and unpleasant, making her stomach turn slightly. It had been very intense, and Durro bringing it up can only be bad.
Durro Thel-Tanis — 02/06/2022
"Is your student ready for a similar trial? If we were to come across a place similarly steeped in the Dark Side, could she handle it, or would it break her?"
@Tesara Anerin
Tesara Anerin — 02/06/2022
Tesara is astounded for a moment, and alarms begin flashing in her mind. "NO. Durro she is not ready for something of that intensity! It was years of training with you before we went there. Hadaza has only been training with me for 2 months! That would be....." She shakes her head, trying to think of an appropriate term. "Madness. It would be utter madness. Is that where you're going?" She asks, alarmed. "Why?"
Durro Thel-Tanis — 02/06/2022
"I can feel it; growing as we get closer. This world I was drawn too; it's a Dark Side nexus. Like the Dark Cave on Lanus, but an entire planet. It still feels right for Astra and I to go there; but we have the training and discipline to resist. If Hadaza isn't ready..." He looks wearily at Tesara.
@Tesara Anerin
Tesara Anerin — 02/06/2022
Tesara shakes her head gravely. "No, she is not. Which means you and Astra go alone and Hadaza, the Professor and I stay on the Gungnir. If it is a Dark Side nexus, we shouldn't even land. Are you prepared to fly the shuttle there and back? We'd be close enough to come rescue you both if it becomes necessary."
Durro Thel-Tanis — 02/06/2022
"Only if the Professor's load-lifters can reassemble the shuttle in space. In order to fit the top stabilizer fin has to be removed."
"Though that was my thought as well. We really should include The Professor in the final decision, but I wanted to get your input first."
He leans forward, chin on his chest. Could he have fallen asleep that fast?
@Tesara Anerin
Tesara Anerin — 02/06/2022
"Durro." Tesara says quietly. "This worries me. What is so important about this planet that you risk such contamination by the Dark Side? You asked me about Hadaza but what about Astra? Is SHE ready?"
Durro Thel-Tanis — 02/06/2022
"There are answers there." He says simply. "I felt it. Astra's ready; she's seen the Dark Side, felt its pull. She's stubborn too; she'll not fall to the Dark Side if only because it wants her to and she's too stubborn to comply."
He smiles weakly.
"I sense this will help her. Help us. A whole Astra will be a boon to our battle against the Swarm."
@Tesara Anerin
Tesara Anerin — 02/06/2022
She tries to hide her skepticism. "I trust you but you also look as if you are about to keel over from exhaustion. I will request Handyman to begin reassembly of the shuttle. You should go rest. You are going to need every bit of strength you have for this." She says gently.
@Durro Thel-Tanis
Durro Thel-Tanis — 02/06/2022
Durro is silent, no response. His breathing is even, mythemic, even more than before he appears to be asleep sitting up.
"What if I can't do it?" He finally says quietly, almost a whisper. "To lose Astra, I can't... not another one."
@Tesara Anerin
Tesara Anerin — 02/06/2022
Tesara's eyes widen.
He thinks he lost me
She bites her lip. "Durro, you didn't lose me. I would not be who I am without your teachings. I chose to end my training with you because I needed to be out on my own. We had to separate for a bit to come to grow and change. You have changed. I can see that you have. You listen now. You're doing wonderfully with Astra. I can see the changes in her as well. You cannot go to a Dark Side planet already exhausted and in doubt of yourself, it will eat you alive."
Durro Thel-Tanis — 02/06/2022
"Lysire. Sinya. Queen Delphinium. Atril. All people I've tried to help, if not train. All people I've failed. Sinya and Lysire are lost to the Dark Side, Queen Delphinium remains broken in a hospital on Korriban. Atril merged with that village Speaker on Baklid and now is... who knows where. She's not Atril though; she's... something else."
Durro sighs heavily.
"Everyone I've tried to help since arriving here is worse off than they started. I've learned a lot about Astra and what plagues her, but am I really the best one to help her through it? I almost didn't accompany The Professor out here; believing him to be a distraction from following the Will of the Force. He came in and took over; we'd not have made this far under my leadership."
He gives a sarcastic laugh.
"I led entire battalions into battle and won many great victories for the Republic. Yet when I close my eyes; when I think about those days, all I hear is the screams of those who died. Killed following my orders, paying the price for my mistakes. What if this one's the next in that long line; with so much hanging in the balance? What if I lose Astra to the darkness that's already knocking at her door?"
He fixes Tesara with a piercing look.
"I've never told you any of this because I was your Master. A Jedi is calm, at peace; one with the Force and the Force is with him but I'm not. I tell you, Astra, Hadaza that fear is the path to the Dark Side; fear of loss most of all. That's Astra's biggest struggle, I see that. I also see my own fear; of losing yet another student to the Dark Side. Fear that it'll become clear that I'm a fraud; I never passed the trials, I never became a Jedi Knight. Yet I have the... the hubris to call myself a Jedi Master, or at least not to correct anyone who refers to me as one. Fear, and Pride. The two greatest tools of the Dark Side. And I'm walking the two least stable people right into the dragon's mouth."
He bows his head again and falls silent, like a droid run low on power.
"Am I insane? I feel insane. This doesn't feel real."
@Tesara Anerin
Tesara Anerin — 02/06/2022
Tesara listens silently, her heart breaking for him. Everyone seems to be suffering from self doubt, anger, shame, guilt, fear, depression and uncertainty. Except for the Professor, but then again she has never spoken to him about these kinds of things.
"Durro, you are not insane. You are human. You strive daily to embody the ways of the Jedi. You are not to blame for Lysire, Sinya, Queen Delphinium or Atril. You are putting yourself at an unfair level. You are not a God, Durro. You are a man, doing the best he can to serve the Force and serve others every single day. You are an amazing teacher and a kind man. Do you hear me? You are KIND. Do you know how much that alone is different from so many others? You have patience and perseverance. You are incredibly intelligent and have passed that on to me and Astra as well." She reaches out her hand and places it on his. "Your self doubt, it will give the Dark Side a place to take hold. You've come this far and done so much, don't let it in." She waits for a moment, feeling the heaviness in the air from him. "I am going with you down to the planet." She says. "Hadaza and the Professor can stay here on the Gungnir. I promised to protect Astra with my life and it is only fitting that I accompany you. You are not going to do this alone." She finishes softly.
@Durro Thel-Tanis
Durro Thel-Tanis — 02/07/2022
"You don't have to." He replies. "Guide them to the next stop; Origin or Yoggoy, I forget which one's closer." (((OOC: I do not know. lol)))
"Astra and I will be fine. If not, carry on without us. The Swarm must be stopped. The Sith must be stopped."
He trails off, then after a moment finishes his thought.
"I should go get some rest. Have them start readying the shuttle and let The Professor know we need to have a meeting; decide what to do next."
He starts rising to leave.
@Tesara Anerin
Tesara Anerin — 02/07/2022
Tesara pulls his robe to stop him and stands. “If we separate now, we may never see each other again. We don’t have any hope of succeeding against the storm without all of us together. We’re a team and we’ll remain one. I’m going with you and Astra. I’ll give the Professor the go ahead to come down for us if we haven’t returned in 5 days.” She looks as stubborn as Astra.
@Durro Thel-Tanis
Durro Thel-Tanis — 02/07/2022
"And if orbit is still too close for Hadaza?" Durro asks pointedly. "As a master yourself, you have a duty to your student; not your foolish master. You must not let your attachment to me or Astra cloud your judgement. We will succeed or fail by the Will of the Force. If we fall, I have faith you and the others will succeed."
@Tesara Anerin
Tesara Anerin — 02/07/2022
Tesara actually grins. “There’s the Jedi master.” She crosses her arms. “Since I am not the owner of this ship, I cannot make that determination as to whether or not the professor would be willing to wait should the 3 of us go. I’ll take this information to him and let him decide if he wishes to go on or stay a few days. Perhaps a bit further than orbit for Hadaza’s sake. But I feel the others have a say in this as well.”
@Durro Thel-Tanis
Durro Thel-Tanis — 02/07/2022
Durro nods.
"I'm going to go pass out, and hope this was all a dream."
He stops at the door.
"Nothing leaves this cabin, right?"
@Tesara Anerin
Tesara Anerin — 02/07/2022
“Of course!” She looks astonished that he would even have to ask.
@Durro Thel-Tanis
Durro Thel-Tanis — 02/07/2022
"I thought so." He mutters. "I just had to be sure."
He leaves the room and returns to his own, where he puts on some music and passes out.
@Tesara Anerin
Tesara Anerin — 02/07/2022
Tesara goes ISO the Professor.
/end
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