|
Big sister are you there? 5/19/22
Princess Astra Korraay — 05/19/2022
Despite her moments of giggling on the bridge, Astra is still rattled. She returns to her quarters to find herself more unsettled. Quinn had been her well he had not been her but she had still felt him and it made her feel unsafe. She could go to her master's Quarters but that did not feal much better. " he did not understand why I can't" She muttered to herself.
She thought about what to do. She paced as she considered her options." A shower that will help right" she said quietly heading for the bathroom. She turned the shower on and cleaned herself. She burst into tears. It hurt That monster had Quinn's voice. How was it that that voice that she loved could now bring her so much fear.
Leaving the shower and getting dressed she finally made the call that staying in her quarters right now was not a good idea. The shower had not helped her and she just did not feel safe or ok staying there or alone at the moment. She did not dare risk waking Haj. The trust they were building again was still a little tense at best. Handyman was obviously out, the crazy droid still wanted to take her brain apart. Durro was piloting the ship, and likely would not entertain such an emotional episode from her.
That left Tesara. She hesitated as she went to leave her room. She did not want to wake her but she needed someone. She desperately hoped Tesara would not be too upset. She left her Quarters and headed to Tesara's. She took a deep breath and knocked on the door. " Tesara, are you up" She called her voice shaking.
@Tesara Anerin
Tesara Anerin — 05/20/2022
Tesara is a light sleeper born from years of needing to be alert and ready to act at any moment for any reason. She gets up and quickly answers the door. The moment she sees Astra, she relaxes in relief that nothing dangerous is happening. “Astra yes, come on in.” She steps aside to allow Astra to enter. It’s obvious her chosen sister is upset, and Tesara can’t blame her. She’d be upset too if she discovered that Jack had somehow become an evil, twisted thing.
@Princess Astra Korraay
Princess Astra Korraay — 05/20/2022
Astra huged Tesara without warning. " im sorry, I-I can't sleep I don't feal comfortable in my room or being by myself" she says quickly trying to explain. She let's go of tesara and enters the room. She puts her arms around herself. " I-i just Quinn was there" she says quietly knowing that she is making no sense.
@Tesara Anerin
Tesara Anerin — 05/20/2022
Tesara is also not surprised to be hugged. She closes the door and turns back to face her. “That was far too quick of a hug.” She goes to hug her again, this time making sure Astra doesn’t feel rushed. “I understand why you don’t want to be alone in your room right now. And I know we were joking earlier, but what he did and what he said to you is no joking matter. I don’t care what Ashanti thinks, she can have him for all I care, but she’s not my chosen sister. You are.“
@Princess Astra Korraay
Princess Astra Korraay — 05/20/2022
Astra straes at Tesara thankful she understands. " He was in my room" She said quietly knowing that made absolutely no sense. She know it did not. " it's my falt he is like this Tesara if I have never seen that pool and changed Rozas future none of this would have happened," She said quietly. She wanted to cry but was not letting herself not again today.
@Tesara Anerin
Tesara Anerin — 05/20/2022
“Astra, you didn’t do anything on purpose.” She says gently. “I don’t pretend to understand your power to change things in this matter, but if you have the power to see the results of those decisions or those actions you wouldn’t have done them.” She says softly. “THAT is the difference between you and the Sith. They want power and control and would use you to get it. You’re not a weapon, you’re a person. None of us know the full extent of your powers, not even Quinn. We don’t know what you can or cannot do. And how on earth are you supposed to be able to control anything if you don’t know how those powers work or what may happen if you try to use them? Honestly it sounds like a catch 22 where nothing you do will come out the way you want it to no matter what you try. You’re only human, Astra. You’re a good person. I wish I could help you figure this out, but there’s nothing in the library that could help. And likely anyone who could help or train you to control it likely hasn’t ever encountered someone like you.” She sits, motioning for Astra to sit beside her. “And as for Quinn, it might help to not refer to him as that name anymore. Quinn is dead. Call him Vos. Don’t allow him to control you with fear. He doesn’t deserve any part of you.” Tesara’s words are soft but Astra can see a fierce glow in her eyes. She would gladly end Vos for what he’s doing to Astra.
@Princess Astra Korraay
Princess Astra Korraay — 05/20/2022
" Haj said eirlyer that is was funny I had this power to see into the future and was afraid of it." She offered quietly. The subject was clearly uncomfortable. " The Text on this we're destroyed" she added after a moment. She started at Tesara. " How does using his last name change who he is. He is Quinn. He may have changed but he is still Quinn" She said quietly.
@Tesara Anerin
Tesara Anerin — 05/20/2022
Tesara’s ‘s face looks pained for a moment. “No, that’s the point Astra. He is not Quinn anymore. Is there anything at all left of the person that you fell in love with? If the answer is no he’s not that person anymore. That’s why I won’t call him by his old name. That sweet, goofy boy is gone. He’s gone, Astra.” She said, obvious pain in her voice. “He’s never coming back.”
@Princess Astra Korraay
Princess Astra Korraay — 05/20/2022
Astra looked as if she might cray" I know he is gone" she said
@Tesara Anerin
Tesara Anerin — 05/20/2022
“Then don’t let Vos make you afraid. You’re not alone. All of us are with you. I know you’re scared that he will hurt us as well as you, but you have to trust us that we can take care of ourselves and you. How often have you heard Durro question me as to whether or not my motives were ruled by fear? A lot.” She says wryly. “Astra you have to say goodbye to him and start to heal this massive, gaping hole in your heart. You’re not fooling any of us. You practically radiate grief and pain. No one expects you to be some kind of perfect, emotionless machine. You can’t heal without going through the pain to get to the other side.“. She says gently.
Princess Astra Korraay — 05/20/2022
Astra stared at Tesara. She was silent she could not respond for a long time. " I-I im not ok I have not been for months" She said quietly.
Tesara Anerin — 05/20/2022
Tesara swore she could almost her the cracking of Astra’s resolve. She chose her words carefully and spoke very softly. “Why would any of us who love you think you would be ok after what you went through? Astra you’ve been shattered by this. You can’t be….” She hesitates, hating to give voice to the violence. “Raped or nearly raped without it changing you forever. I learned the hard way that pushing someone when they weren’t ready to be pushed can backfire. I have been waiting for you to come to me when you were ready. Now you can admit to me and yourself that you’re NOT okay. You’re human. It’s okay to be not okay. This is a safe place to fall apart.” Her words are thick with emotion now. She prays silently that Astra can allow herself to let go and crack wide open. Tesara is waiting to hold her if she does.
@Princess Astra Korraay
Princess Astra Korraay — 05/20/2022
" I-i hope he was just acting that he would come back. He he didn't the worst part is I could not bring myself to rase my lightsaber against him. I know he was lost and I could not fight him" She said quietly.
@Tesara Anerin
Tesara Anerin — 05/20/2022
“You couldn’t fight him because he wears the face of someone you love.” She says quietly. “I’m glad he didn’t…. Succeed.” She looks relieved but still disturbed. “But if there is a next time he won’t hesitate to try again, and if we aren’t there to stop him, he’ll win and break you even further.” She looks suddenly determined. “So we won’t let you be alone with him again. Quinn is dead but I would gladly run Vos through.” She looks angry, something Astra hasn’t truly seen before. “Every time you fear him or fear anything actually, he wins. I know you’re strong enough to do this. None of us will force you to fight him, but neither can you stop us from fighting and killing him.” She says firmly.
@Princess Astra Korraay
Princess Astra Korraay — 05/20/2022
" Tesara he can reach into your mind and twist it at will," She said quietly. Tears streaked her face. She look at the ground Tears streaking her face. " You know it hurts every time I hear the girls call him a slaver" She said.
Tesara Anerin — 05/20/2022
“I’m well aware of his capabilities. Durro taught us how to shield against it and Ashanti is going to help. He’s not going to win. Don’t give up, Astra. If you do, he AND Malora both win.” She squeezes Astra’s hand gently. “I’m sure it would hurt them to hear what he did to you. Can you blame them for hating him?”
Princess Astra Korraay — 05/20/2022
" No I can't. How can come one I loved bring so much fear and pain" she said quietly. She looked away. " I hate him I can but he terrify me and I don't want him to hurt you are anyone else" She said quietly.
@Tesara Anerin
Tesara Anerin — 05/20/2022
“You fell in love with him because that person was good and sweet and goofy and kind and thoughtful. That’s gone now. Astra…” Tesara actually takes Astra’s chin in her hands, gently forcing her to look Tesara directly. “Vos is going to try very hard to hurt us and defeat us but we’ll be ready for him and we’ll win. It all comes down to this question: Do you trust us?”
@Princess Astra Korraay
Princess Astra Korraay — 05/20/2022
" Yes I do" She said tears streaking her face.
@Tesara Anerin
Tesara Anerin — 05/20/2022
Tesara smiles softly. “Good. That’s the key.” She pulls Astra into another hug, this time just silent.
@Princess Astra Korraay
Princess Astra Korraay — 05/20/2022
" Can I stay in here with you for tonight. I don't want to be in my room alone right now I know it's silly but im afraid he will come back" she said.
@Tesara Anerin
Tesara Anerin — 05/20/2022
“Of course.” Tesara scoots over to make room. “We can switch rooms if you’d like.”
@Princess Astra Korraay
Princess Astra Korraay — 05/20/2022
" No I think I just don't want to be alone," She said. She sat next to Tesara. " He invaded my mind my dream this last time" She said.
@Tesara Anerin
Tesara Anerin — 05/20/2022
“All right, so do the Force defense before falling asleep. I’m not sure if it will work while you’re asleep, but you can try it.” Tesara laid down and scooted back. There was more than enough room for both of them.
@Princess Astra Korraay
Princess Astra Korraay — 05/20/2022
Astra smiled choosing not to tell Tesara she did not know how to. " Thank you Tesara" she said and lay down.
@Tesara Anerin
Tesara Anerin — 05/20/2022
Tesara stayed vigilant for many hours, on alert for any signs of stress from Astra. She hated Quinn….no, Vos, for what he had done.
@Princess Astra Korraay
Princess Astra Korraay — 05/20/2022
Astra lay a wake for some time but eventually fell asleep.
@Tesara Anerin
Tesara Anerin — 05/20/2022
Tesara stays awake until it’s time to get up.
End?
Princess Astra Korraay — 05/20/2022
End
|
